From the time I was eight years old, I was a mother. I was not biologically her mother, but having two deadbeat parents and a baby sister was one of the most difficult challenges of my life; yet, it was one of the most significant blessings, for it shaped the person I am today.
I am from a low income area, and I was accidentally born into a chaotic, dysfunctional family. My dad is an abusive alcoholic while my mom has a bipolar disorder. Nevertheless, my mother came home one day when I was still so young, exclaiming that she was pregnant, and I cried for three days. Even at seven years old, I knew that them having another kid was going to be unfair for the child. The very first second I saw her, all of my fears went away: I immediately felt responsible for this precious life. After we brought her home, my parents went back to their old ways of arguing all the time, then working different shifts to avoid each other. My dad worked in the day, then would come home and drink to the point where he was clearly was unfit to take care of an infant. My mom worked nights, which I honestly feel is when a child (or at least my sister) needs their mom the most. Taking care of my sister became my biggest priority. Due to the fact that neither of my parents had more than a high school education, they cared very little about the education their kids got. They also spent too much time working and fighting to properly instill virtues and ethics. That’s where I saw my opportunity to make a difference and guide her, so she would not have to struggle like I had. I made sure she did her homework, was up in time for school in the morning and in bed on time at night. I purposefully provided for my sister but my parents didn’t. Today, we are best friends despite the large age gap. She is now in the 5th grade, in the gate program, and involved in extracurricular activities. I am so proud to have raised a smart, independent girl.
How did this affect me? It shaped me in more ways than I can count. The biggest impact from this experience was it made me love children. I know my sister and I are not exactly a unique case, and knowing there are others has impacted me extraordinarily. This experience majorly affected my choice of career: It has led me to pursue tutoring jobs and child development positions at local elementary schools. I want to be an elementary teacher because I want those types of kids to be able to have someone to open up too. I know it would have been much easier on me if I had someone to talk with. I also want to make an impact on the lives of children. I know many people undervalue teachers, but I really feel it is one of the most important jobs. Children’s minds are sponges and it takes a specific type of person to mold their minds in a positive way.
Being an educator is more than teaching, it is building a personal relationship with your pupils. This relationship takes time and effort which not all people acquire. In https://www.hampshire.edu/sites/default/files/files/HookBuil.pdf, Building a Teaching Community: A Dialouge, by Bell Hook, http://www.notablebiographies.com/He-Ho/Hooks-Bell.html, Hook is recording a converation which she is having with Ron Scapp, http://nepc.colorado.edu/author/scapp-ron a collegue of Hooks. Hook states, “Yet the classroom should be a space where we’re all in power in different ways. That means we professors should be empowered by our interactions with students.” The power dynamic in the classroom is important. It is ideal that students respect you to an extent, but never should the authority you hold over them cause you to be feared. In my case, this quote relates to me due to the fact that when I am a teacher, I want to maintain a comfortable classroom environment where I am respected but not feared. I also know the pain of not having anyone to turn to in times of need, and I aspire to be the type of person that my students can come to with any sort of issue, large or small.
The quote I selected from Bell Hook’s work relates to her text as a whole, for she too feels that the power dynamic in the classroom should not be one dependent on students’ fear. Hook discusses how, when she first started teaching, she was unsure about whether she should stand behind the podium, for it put a physical power barrier between her and her students, stating, “The erasure of the body encourages us to think we are listening to neutral, objective facts.” The position of teachers in the classroom is important because it shifts the power dynamic depending on whether a person is standing behind a podium the whole time or interacting amongst the pupils. Hook also uses an example of a substitute teacher using a power dynamic to “humiliate” a student in the classroom, clearly upsetting her but also displaying how it is important that educators do not “deeply ingrain the student perception that professors can be and should be dictators.” Today, I am pursuing my goal of becoming a teacher and it all started with the skills and knowledge I gained from raising my sister. With my past experience as well as a more formal education from UCR, I want to ultimately become an educator and role model for the next generation of children.
