Respect MY Voice & Respect MY body

In the past weeks we have talked about bodies that matter. I want to reflect on Joel Leon’s “Pussy a Think-piece” and how I can relate to it to an incident I had a couple of weekend’s ago. Joel Leon points out that women bodies have been seen by men as bodies that are supposed to be there to serve them. Why they believe so might be due to several reasons. Maybe they grew up in a machos household and learned to have that set mentality or simply learned that it’s how things go in a patriarchal society. Maybe they learned it from hip hop or rap as Joel Leon points out. There are several lyrics that rappers come out with in songs that make men believe they own women’s bodies. Some men believe they are entitled to women’s bodies and that what they say goes.

I was out a couple weekends ago with a group of friends and we were dancing and having a good time. Some guys came over and were dancing with us. It was all okay while we were in a group but then it kind of got into couples and that’s when there was going to be a problem. The guy that I ended up with pulled me over at first I thought it was so we can scoot to a space less crowded. We were dancing and it was fun, I liked the music, but then I started getting uncomfortable so I said that I was done. His friends looked at him and laughed. I don’t know if he saw that as a threat to his masculinity because then he grabbed my arm and said:

“You’re not done til I say you’re done.”

I was so angry at that moment that he did not respect me or my word. I shoved his hand off of me and loudly said “No I said I’m done” and when people turned around to look at him he walked away. When I think about it now it still makes me angry because it is men like him that think women “owe them” in Joel Leon’s words and that they are supposed to be there for their own fun and entertainment. They think that they need to have the last word and that everything should be for them.

I am glad that Joel Leon points out that men should be “Shutting the entire fuckety fuck up about what women decide they want to or not want to do, with their bodies.” He is right it is our say what we do or do not want to do with our bodies. Why? Because it is our own bodies no one should tell us what to do with it. He is right in saying that something needs to be done to educate men about respect. We are all human and we all deserve respect.

I think that we all have to learn to respect each other. Men need to be taught that women’s bodies are to be respected as well as their voice. Both our bodies and voices do matter. Men have to learn to take no for answer.

I am my own person and I am nobody’s property to be told what to do or how to act. Whether it is on a night out when a man cannot take a no for answer to dancing, going on a date or getting a phone number. Or whether it is Congress not understanding that only women should have their own authority over their own bodies. And even the media that tells women not to dress a certain way, talk a certain way or act a certain way to avoid situations.