Sluts and Players
Gender is a social construction developed by humans and their societies. Humans decide what kind of gender roles their newborns will take based on the genitals they are born with, so children have already been decided what kind of role they will play from the very start. We can see that all throughout history even back in the ancient times. For example, women usually play the role of domestic work and nurturing while the men are the ones to go out to perform the heavy labor work. We can see that through ancient civilizations like the Akkadians, Sumerians, Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Mongols, and many more. The men would go out to hunt and gather food and resources while the women would stay at home to make clothes or take care of the children. From the very start and even until now in modern days, gender roles play a very important part and have an extremely strong impact on us and our societies.
I want to take this time to discuss and analyze the irony of women being called sluts and men being called players. Now, a man can go around and sleep with as many women as he wants. He would be known as a player. A player, to men, is considered a very “cool” thing in our modern day society. The word player has such a strong positive connotation that it makes the man seem like a “god”. He is the “shit” because he sleeps with a lot of women. He is proud, masculine, and idolized. He is said to have “game”, which is the ability to convince women into having sex with him. He is powerful. Every man wants to be that “player”. Every man wants to be the one to sleep with a lot of women. For some reason, it is considered very admirable to be a player.
Now on the on the other, when women perform what a player does best such as sleeping around a lot, but with men, she is considered a slut. A slut, to women, is considered to be a hugely awful thing in modern day society. The word slut has such a negative connotation that it causes the women to be called names such as whore, hoe, and bitch. In addition, even men consider a slut to be unacceptable. She is just “that hoe over there (THOT)” that has many intercourse with a lot of men that she doesn’t know. No one wants to be a slut.
Well why is that when women sleep around a lot, they give off negative impressions and traits about themselves, but when men sleep around they give off positive impressions and traits about themselves? So, in our society, are we saying that women, with the morals of men, are considered an awful thing? Are they not just like men? Does this have to do with equality again? From the last time I heard, women and men are all equal now. So why do men not want to date a a women who was considered to be a slut in the past, but women don’t mind dating men who were players in the past?
Simone de Beauvoir helps explain this irony. She states that from the very beginning, women are already considered less than men in our human species. “…she is a womb, an ovary; she is a female — this word is sufficient to define her. In the mouth of a man the epithet female has the sound of an insult, yet he is not ashamed of his animal nature; on the contrary, he is proud if someone says of him: ‘He is a male!’ The term ‘female’ is derogatory…” (https://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/ethics/de-beauvoir/2nd-sex/ch01.htm). So being male is already seen as the “shit” from the very beginning and being female is already considered less than being a male.
How can we stop this utterly negative thinking in our society so that the new generations can at least change something in the near future? Well Simone de Beauvoir also mentioned that if we compare human gender roles to animal gender roles, not all males dominate in other species. “…the monstrous and swollen termite queen rules over the enslaved males; the female praying mantis and spider, satiated with love, crush and devour their partners…” (https://www.marxists.org/reference/subject/ethics/de-beauvoir/2nd-sex/ch01.htm). This shows that if majority of humans can stop thinking that males always dominate females, then maybe there can be a change because in the end, all humans are animals too.