Theory, Is That You?
“Whenever I tried in childhood to compel folks around me to do things differently, to look at the world differently, using theory as intervention, as a way to challenge the status quo, I was punished. I remember trying to explain at a very young age to Mama why I thought it was highly inappropriate for Daddy, this man who hardly spoke to me, to have the right to discipline me, to punish me physically with whippings: her response was to suggest I was losing my mind and in need of more frequent punishment.”
— Bell Hooks
(Yale Journal of Law and & Feminism : Theory as a Liberatory Practice, pg. 1)
Thoery in and of itself, is a way to give us the language to decribe the experiences we’ve had in life. However, theory isn’t going to give us agency just by reading it, it has to be employed and articulated. Bell Hooks mentions her quest for answers as a child — only to be met with dissent and backlash — punished for asking the most fundamental questions that should be making us reexamine the patriarchal realm that is our American society.
Like Bell Hooks I too feel that whenever I question the patriarchal normative — I face a form of punishment. Whether it be through a heated debate at a bar with a table of professional men or vigorous head shaking in disagreement as I try to stand up for myself in everyday scenarios with my peers- fighting to make them realize that just because I am female does not make me secondary. The punishment is the constant fight- quite frankly its exhausting. What really gets the steam going is when my capabilities are questioned just because I am female-screw everything else right?
I esteem myself on being a “scientist” -my degree being in Sustainability, and so I often scour men in my head when they have the audacity to essentially insult my intelligence. As I walk into a social situation with a man by my side I am often confronted with other men who insist that I have no voice and no agency. This is exemplified through even the most simple practices. At the most fundamental level, when I am standing with a man by my side he is often, if not always-prompted to speak for me. At times when I have simple car troubles such as needing to put oil or radiator water in my car I am usually asked “Do you know what your doing?” which is always met with the most skeptical look and the most lacking sense of encouragement along with “Do you need help with that?” even after I have assured them I have done it a million times before. In particular, I’ve decided to devote my life to sustainable agriculture- undoubtedly a field run by men. In my search for employment I have been told that I cannot work in the fields because “I would only be a distraction” or with a stern “there’ s no positions open” even though they’re recurring job ads indicate otherwise. I have come to the conclusion that the field is not only run by men, it is made for men. Despite this, I am determined to be a catalyst of change and will not except this reality that is a patriarchal pyramid of authority.
Sadly, this is how our oh so glorious society is — run and made for men.
I often step back and ask “why?” Why are women so sexualized and objectified, and seen as something to be acted on? “A gazelle alone in a field of hungry lions” is how my fiancé so elegantly and accurately describes this feeling. Seen as secondary to even the most trivial and menial of men? It’s something I often struggle with and without a doubt still do struggle with. And thus, I have come to theory. I am starting my journey on the path to discovering theory as to start being able to articulate my femaleness in this society.
I don’t mean to articulate the entire notion of femaleness for all who identify as female. What my femaleness means to me does not necessarily mean that’s what it means to you- the reader. I encourage you to look within yourself, don’t doubt your capabilities and dare to question the majority. I urge you to be a catalyst of change, blossom, and stay tuned — because theory is knocking and I’m looking at it through the door, all I have to do is open it.
