As Simple as a Cup of Tea
Consent is Everything
Rape is still relevant. Even though there are not many rape stories in the media right now, rapeis real and it is happening where we live. In Sharon Marcus’ “Fighting Bodies, Fighting Words: A Theory and Politics of Rape Prevention”, “Hawkesworth makes three claims: that rape is real; that to be real means to be fixed, determinate, and transparent to understanding; and that feminist politics must understand rape as one of the real, clear facts of women’s lives.” They are real enough to have statistical background where we as humans have the access to look at and teach our peers.
RAINN(Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, which gives us the access that we need to rape statistics in the US. 1 out of every 6 american women has been a victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. 1 out of every 10 rape victims are male. To make things even worse, college students are put in 5 times more of a risk rather than someone not attending college. This is awful because people are trying to expand their knowledge by getting a higher education and by doing so they are putting themselves at complete risk. Being raped or involved in an attempted rape can lead to longer life issues. Consequences include PTSD, which will leave a person traumatized after their experience. People also contemplate suicide as their resource so that they no longer have to live with PTSD. Hawkesworth calls “the realities that circumscribe women’s lives” a reality that lies beyond our grasp and which we can only experience as grasping and encircling us.In its efforts to convey the horror and iniquity of rape, such a view often concurs with masculinist culture in its designation of rape as a fate worse than, or tantamount to, death.”Along with the fact that people who have been raped are more likely to use drugs rather than the general public, 3.4 times more likely to use marijuana, 6 times more likely to use cocaine, and 10 times more likely to use other major drugs.
Consent, permission for something to happen or agreement to do something, is the number one rule involved in sexual relations. If consent is not given then do not do it. Consent does not need to be verbal to understand if the answer is no or yes. As long as it is understood by both parties then you should both be in agreement. “Feminist thinkers have asked: Whose words count in a rape and a rape trial? Whose “no” can never mean “no”? How do rape trials condone men’s misinterpretations of women’s words? How do rape trials consolidate men’s subjective accounts into objective “norms of truth” and deprive women’s subjective accounts of cognitive value?”(Sharon Marcus) You may also change your mind, if you give consent at first and then saying “no” is fine also. You can withdraw consent at any point if you feel uncomfortable. Consent should be given every time. “Giving consent for one activity, one time, does not mean giving consent for increased or recurring sexual contact. For example, agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t give that person permission to remove your clothes. Having sex with someone in the past doesn’t give that person permission to have sex with you again in the future.”
Another great example and lesson about consent is the “Tea Consent” video. This is one of the only things I remember about my University of California Riverside orientation. They showed us this video so that we all understand the meaning of consent. It is explained in the simplest way and it is repeated in different ways so that it sticks in everybody’s head. This was also an entertaining angle of understanding the rules of consent so then at the end we all got it.
At the end of the day what we need to do is prevent this from happening, if not ending rape then making it happen drastically less than it does right now. For starters, listen to people; If someone has been raped and are giving you signs of uncomfort and anxiety then tell them that they can trust you to tell you so that you can help them. In the modern days now, “it problematically separates them because it considers a woman’s account of rape “an arbitrary imposition of a purely fictive meaning on an otherwise meaningless reality.” Listen to them so that they do not believe it happened to them, because in fact it has. It is getting tiring that people are still not believing others after they have been raped, judges, jury, and the police. It is getting too serious and way too common for this type to criminal activity. We need to take a stand and fight for the rights of the unheard.
