Punish Me
“I’m confused. I wanted to spank her. But she said no.”
Punishment can be defined as an infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for a crime. It is used as a repercussion for actions that should not have been committed. Punishment is a essentially a consequence, but can violence as punishment be used as a penalty when there are some that find pleasure in it?
In the BDSM community, there are hundreds of people who inflict and are inflicted with pain in order to promote pleasure sexually. While this may be a foreign concept for some people, it is quite popular among a variety of age brackets. BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Many of these practices involve inflicting pain or punishment. While most of the time, people participating in BDSM are consensual, people often forget about the very fine line that is present between BDSM and abuse.
Abuse, especially sexually, is something very prominent today. It puts people in dangerous situations. Punishment allows abusers to believe that they are fixing their victim. They are essentially teaching them right from wrong, even where there is no apart reason as to why they abuse. (Not that there is any reason as to why it is acceptable for anyone to abuse) The difference between punishment in BDSM and in abuse is consent. It is the word “no”. If someone does not want something in BDSM, it will be stopped, but it is not the same case with abuse.
The big question is whether or not violence as punishment can be used as pleasure and as a form of consequence. Friedrich Nietzsche believe that there are many different reasons for punishment and how it is used, in example, “Punishment as a festival, namely as mocking and doing violence to a finally defeated enemy”. Punishment can be used with so many different intentions, but how can we punish someone that enjoys it? Nietzsche’s underlying argument is that punishment can tame someone for a short amount of time, but it cannot fix them or make them better. Punishment does not instill values in order to teach, it is merely a quick fix in order to represent something was not deemed correct. If punishment is not something that we can use to genuinely teach people right from wrong, then there should be no reason for it to be used.
This is one of the main reasons as to why people mistake the book 50 Shades of Grey as BDSM rather than abuse. Because there is a community that supports punishment as a kink, the book was quickly labeled as an erotic story instead of an abusive relationship. Due to the lack of knowledge of BDSM within the general public, people thought “Oh! He has money, and does so many things for her. He is just super kinky. This is a sexy book. There is no way this could be abusive”. Violence cannot be used to reprimand someone when it will not change them mentally. If punishment in a consensual manner is something that is not seen as permanent, then it is not possibly for punishment outside of the bedroom to be considered something that could actually benefit the person being punished. There will always be a way out of the punishment in BDSM and there is not a way out with abuse. This is in relation to the book because Christian shows up randomly, stalks her, harassing her, ridicules her, but it does not end. He continues to do all of these things whether or not she consents.
BDSM is not a form of violence. Although it does sometimes involve inflicting pain, there is no intent to actually harm someone. When scenes in BDSM are over, the submissive is handled gently and comforted in order for them to know that the scene is over. While violence as a n actual punishment only leads to fear and an overwhelming amount of repercussions mentally, physically and emotionally.
Though punishment cannot actually help people become better, violence is a huge issue in society. Thus leading to the creation of 50 Shades of Grey series that give many people the wrong idea about consent and how punishment in and outside of the bedroom should be handled.
