Rape Rules that Should be Broken
Marriage is Not Infinite Consent.
It is understandable for methods of approaching any conflict to differ from one person to another. Further, it should be implied that pursuing justice in times of oppression is a societal obligation and basic conventional wisdom. The debate revolving around misunderstandings and issues regarding consent are incredibly complex, yet at least in most part of the world, efforts are significantly starting to grow in order to address this specific type of conflict if it turns abusive abusive. In the United States, the emergence of testimonies from victims of sexual assault in Hollywood has placed predators under scrutiny creating a scandal that ended careers of monsters like Tarantino and Weinstein. With that, survivors get a portion of the even handedness they deserve, these rapists could no longer draw power from their careers once provided, and hopefully that takes away from the rape culture Hollywood has created. This was possible through the proper media exposure and utilization of authority outlets. Movements have erupted on social media platforms and campaigns have launched to empower those who have lost hope.
On the other side of the world, women who try to come forward about such abuses reciprocate a lot less kindness, acceptance and support. In fact, there are places in the world that punish women for seeking help after overcoming sexual horrors.
According to “Emirates Women”, “[i]f a woman reports she was raped”, but “has had relations with the man before, and if there are phone calls, messages and correspondence between them that prove they have agreed on adultery, this will work against her in court.”
The United Arab Emirates is a member of the Gulf Cooperation Council and has recently become home to some of the world’s tallest buildings, brightest lights and savviest tech. It recognizes, prosecutes and punishes rape and other forms of assault. But that gets really tricky. To assume that women would report scandal like this to begin with, regardless of the assault’s severity, would be naive. The dominating lifestyle there is that of a very conservative and religious culture. That being said, the exposing anything that pertains to adultery and premarital sex is out of the question because of the dire consequences that would come about when a girl is known to no longer be a virgin. Still, it is one of the few countries that does not allow the reduction of punishment if the rapist marries the survivor as Jordan and Lebanon used to. Despite that, the Emirates creates a very hostile atmosphere towards any victims who were wronged at a time they were no longer in control. Victim blaming becomes the preferred method of prosecution and often those who report being raped do end up in jail on the charges of having premarital sex as that is not permitted in much of the secular countries within the Gulf Cooperation Council. A sense of cooperation between injustices or general oppression has a tendency to be reinforced by the state and its institutions. And it is vital to remember that one of the reasons this giant structure is in place is because it is responsible for pursuing justice for its citizens. Laws and policies that punish women are not new and many of these laws tend to get overturned. In the past,
“The branks was an iron cage placed over the head, and most examples incorporated a spike or pointed wheel that was inserted into the offender’s mouth in order to ‘pin the tongue and silence the noisiest brawler.’ This spiked cage was intended to punish women adjudged quarrelsome or not under the proper control of their husbands. The common form of administering this punishment was to fasten the branks to a woman and parade her through the village,
sometime [sic] chaining her to a pillar for a period of time after the procession…. Although these were public chastisements they were integrally linked to household domination. In some towns arrangements were made for employing the branks within the home…. [M]en often used the threat of the branks to attempt to silence their wives, “If you don’t rest with your tongue, I’ll send for the town jailor… to hook you up.” In this example, we see how patriarchal domination and state domination were intricately intertwined” Angela Davis on Public Imprisonment and Private Violence: Reflections on the Hidden Punishment of Women.
and in most parts of the world, it was not uncommon for “disobedient” women to be publicly paraded into what was considered proper discipline. Such humiliating acts were performed on women for reason far less than pursuing justice. It is important to draw from historical ways to recognize how simply not seeing those abuses does not mean they are no longer around. Domestic violence is still allowed by authorities in the United Arab Emirates and the issue is, once again, centered around circumstances where women have no control. Sharia law protects the woman from physical abuse by her spouse and,
Legal Consultants Senior Partner, Hassan Moshen Elhais, says the law is clear that it’s unacceptable. “No slapping, no beating, no boxing. These are all crimes. If there is any mark for any length of time — even a few minutes — the woman has the right to get a divorce, custody of her children, expenses, compensation, everything. This is something every woman should know.”
The dilemma of domestic violence is that it is difficult to prove. Serial abusers are excellent liars and are manipulative enough to strike where no one can see how much it hurts. Also, the topic of marital rape arises and many Middle Eastern men and women would not even understand a concept that deems consent a necessity before any sexual activity, even if two people were bound by the institution of marriage. I remember a time when a friend of mine called me in the middle of the night crying and she had been going through some challenges at home. She had witnessed her father slapping her mother and pushing her to the floor for not saying “hello” properly to her grandmother, the father’s mother. She was devastated about not being able to help her mother in any way shape of form. She could not call the authorities as they would simply side with the father. I recall another instant where I asked my mother about a bruise she had on her arm and she brushed it off for the longest time by telling me shit hit herself against the door. It took her months before she told me my dad had laid his hands on her for not wanting to sleep with him and it was a life changing moment for me. I had only heard about this type of situation from television shows and neighbors gossip, never my own family, my own parents. I remember being furious and needing this abusive person and my father to be two different men as it did not make sense that someone as kind as him would do something to someone as angelic as my mother. But it made me realize that this helplessness was a result of a system that manifested such a behavior to be prominent and acceptable in these conservative societies. I know that change is necessary and it would be a duty that falls on the shoulders of women from the Emirates to dismantle this oppressive law and replace it with educational means that would transform the mentality that produces so much violence to one that generates respect and resolution without abuse. Women should not be victimized for their previous choices and no charge should be filed when the alleged behavior was only discovered upon an admission while reporting. Rape is perhaps one of the most abhorrent behaviors in our society and we need not to be enabling these sick people using one of the few things that separate criminals and non-criminals, our laws. Punishment should be purely based on societal agreements, especially in this case, and not based on secular merits as it should be implied that God would be the so called “punisher”, not the state.
“Where systems of race, gender, and class domination converge, as they do in the experiences of battered women of color, intervention strategies based solely on the experiences of women who do not share the same class or race backgrounds will be of limited help to women who because of race and class face different obstacles.” -Kimberle Crenshaw on the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence against Women of Color
