The Truth About Double Standards: End Them NOW!
Men being assaulted isn’t rare, what’s rare is men speaking up about it. Here is Terry Crews’ story.
Fighting for equality has been something both women and men have been doing throughout the years. Although we have made some progress, there is still a lot we need to fight for. We have fought for women’s rights, but what we are still not taking into account is the intersectionality that lies among our identities.
Very recently, actor Terry Crews filed a lawsuit because of an encounter at a party in 2016 when he says a Hollywood agent named Adam Venit groped his private parts. He tweeted about his assault on October of 2017. Crews was one of the first male actors in Hollywood to speak out during the movement.
On his twitter page he wrote,
“I was going to kick his ass right then — but I thought twice about how the whole thing would appear. “240 lbs. Black Man stomps out Hollywood Honcho” would be the headline the next day. Only I probably wouldn’t have been able to read it because I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN JAIL.”
Crews was scared of defending himself because of what he’s identified as to the public: a 240 lbs muscular African American man. He knew that if he tried to defend himself, the media would portray him as the bad guy and not the assaulter.
Crews has tried to fight the idea of toxic masculinity for years. Which is one of the many reasons why he chose to speak up. In one of his tweets about his assault, Crews wrote about the fear that many victims carry that leads them to stay silent, especially in Hollywood. He said, “And I understand why many women who this happens to let it go. Who is going 2 believe you? (few) What r the repercussions? (many) Do u want 2 work again? (Yes) R you prepared 2 be ostracized? (No).”
Staying quiet has unfortunately been the only option for most actors who have also been assaulted but also want to continue to work in Hollywood. Most of their stories are still censored. Last year, in 2017 the silence was broken one story at a time with the #MeToo movement. In November, Hilarie Burton accused One Tree Hill creator Mark Schwahn of harassing and assaulting her. Burton left the cast after her contract ran out, and she was refused from being considered for starring roles in other shows for years after. She told Variety, “The fear of being forced into another one of these situations was crippling.” She also didn’t tell anyone at Warner Bros. about the misconduct because, “I didn’t want Warner Bros. to view me as a problem, because they had been so supportive,” she said. “I wanted to work at Warner Bros. again. I’m working at Warner Bros. now.” In Hollywood, the fear of being labeled ‘difficult’ or a “problem” is ongoing, and one of the reasons why people are kept quiet. This has proven to be true for (mainly) women and people of color, who’ve faced obstacles to both entering and staying in Hollywood.
So many women live in fear of losing the careers they have worked for because of an incident they had no control over. Terry Crews described this situation to GMA, “This is the deal about Hollywood. It is an abuse of power. This guy, again, he’s one of the most powerful men in Hollywood, and he looked at me at the end as if, ‘Who is going to believe you?’”
Crews’ situation was so bad that he began to understand why women in Hollywood find it difficult to speak up. To add the cherry on top, There were NO CHARGES for the agent. The LA district attorney’s office admitted the agent groped him more than once but since there was no skin contact, and not restraint involved, the allegations were not considered a felony. To top it all, Crews was requested to undergo a mental evaluation by WME lawyers as part of the lawsuit. Wait — — THERE’S MORE! Russell Simmons asked Terry to give his assaulter a “pass” because he apologized to Crews. Oh, because an apology erases the trauma that an assault can cause, right?
When the public found out about the situation, they decided to support Terry Crews. Even the company Old Spice sent Crews a letter saying they are on his side. While some were being supportive, others were just saying “Why couldn’t he just kick his ass?” and other similar comments. Crews described why fighting the guy would have had a worse outcome in one of his tweets.
Here are what some twitter users had to say about the situation:
True, now look at this tweet…
Think about this. The fact that the LA County Court did not do what was necessary really gets you thinking… Why did they do that? Is it because Crews does not seem like the “type to be molested”? Because he is a big, muscular, black man? I hate to do this, but what if the roles were flipped? Like this twitter user said, there would have been no hesitation.
Unfortunately, sexual violence happens very often. But when people think of sexual violence and who is the victim, they have one particular image in mind: a female, and an even more common image, a white female. Terry Crews does not fit into the archetype set by society. Could that be why the justice system failed him? In an article by Kimberle Crenshaw, Crenshaw states
“The intersection of racism and sexism factors into Black women’s lives in ways that cannot be captured wholly by looking at the race or gender dimensions of those experiences separately.”
Crenshaw has recognized it in her article what we have yet to recognize ourselves: the intersectionality amongst us all. The majority of people have the image of a white woman when the term sexual assault is mentioned. This is because those are the the type who usually report and win cases. In an article by Katherine Giscombe, she states, “White women are given more voice and power than any marginalized woman will ever be given.” Even women of color fall behind when it comes to this issue, imagine Crews. Terry Crews is nothing like the ‘typical victim’ we envision, if anything he is the opposite. A tall, masculine, buff, straight, black man was assaulted. Who would have thought? The answer is no one. The justice system is so flawed that instead of helping this man, they did the opposite. Because of this particular reason, men around the world are scared to speak up. Did you know that men being sexually assaulted happens more often than one thinks it does? It’s true. It isn’t rare, what’s rare is men reporting it. Here’s what UofM had to say about this in their article Male Survivors of Sexual Assault:
“Because of how men are socialized and expected to behave in our society, a male survivor of a sexual assault may feel as if he is not “a real man.” Because men in our society are expected to always be ready for sex and to be the aggressors in sexual relationships, it may be difficult for a man to tell people that he has been sexually assaulted, especially if the perpetrator was a woman.”
Men are scared of being shamed because of what they were taught to believe by society; the idea that girls can’t rape boys. But the truth is that boys/men can be assaulted too. Many males are being silenced because of society’s construct on this topic, or because they are scared of opinions, or because they’re afraid of that damaging their carrier. Terry Crews’ sexual assault case against Adam Venit being rejected is another failure of the law. This is why people don’t report sexual assault. This is why people suffer in silence.
“They don’t want to see me comment, but I’m not going anywhere,” Crews said. “They lead this thing through shame. [They] shame you so you feel like you gotta hide in the house. …[But] once you get rid of shame, you get to step off the slave plantation. And I get to be free. This is a good thing.”
Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter your age, your sexual orientation, your looks, or your gender identity. It is time for society to break the image that comes to mind when the term ‘sexual assault’ is mentioned. It’s time to consider intersectionality and it is time to support men who build up the courage to speak up about their assault.
What happened to Terry Crews is why people decide to not report it. It is time to end the double standard.
