Why is it that women cannot hang out with men without being expected to have sex? Why do women have to do more than just talk? Can someone explain why a simple ‘no’ is not enough when it comes from a woman? Why do famous men think any women will say yes to them? Many know the well known comedian, Aziz Ansari as a passive and funny guy. No one would have even thought that someone like him would be able of such act. However, Anzari is being accused of sexual misconduct and sexual harassment. It is weird to think about, giving the idea that he was seen at the Grammy’s with certain items to indicate their position to end sexual harassment.
Those who support the end of sexual harassment or those who at least are against it wore certain things to demonstrate how they were against it. For instance many artist took white flowers and others;like, Aziz Anzari wore a ‘times now’ pins.
One would expect that a guy like Anzari would respect the decision of women more. However, the complete opposite happened on September 25, 2017. At an after party, a woman approached Anzari because of the camera he had. They talked and flirted a little. They eventually traded numbers and they eventually went out on a date. After their date, they went to his place and he immediately began to make sexual moves. She at first went along with it; but at some point she decided that she no longer wanted to do anything with him. She said that he was moving to fast. Almost as soon as walking inside his house, he began to kiss her. He then, began to say sexual comments and make sexual gestures. She remembers him touching her within seconds of just kissing: “ ‘In a second, his hand was on my breast.’ Then he was undressing her, then he undressed himself. She remembers feeling uncomfortable at how quickly things escalated”(Way). As one can see, she felt very uncomfortable and he was moving way too fast. After undressing her, he said he was going to get a condom and it was then she decided to speak up. She said something along the lines of just wanting to chill. He said okay, but eventually still acted as if she wanted to have sex. She, after being frozen of terror, ran to the bathroom and ordered a car and left. She, then informed her friends to see if what had happened was wrong. They all agreed it was sexual harassment, so she reported it.
One must be wondering, well what is the exact definition of sexual harassment? According to the the Merriam Webster, Sexual harassment is “an uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical behavior of a sexual nature especially by a person in authority toward a subordinate”. Sexual Harassment has been a major issue and it continues to be. When a women does no say “yes I do want to have sex” or something along those lines, men should not act upon it. There must be clear consent. One should not be doubting whether the other person is okay with what is happening; it should be more than clear that, that is what both people want. A lot of the times, women say subtle comments like ‘lets just chill’ or ‘lets just talk’ to substitute for ‘no I do not want to have sex’. Men or the person performing the action should understand that the other person is not one hundred percent comfortable with having sex; therefore, they should back off and not continue to try and convince them to.
Sexual harassment should not have to a major problem in the world; it should not be a problem at all. People should understand and accept when someone does not want to have sexual intercourse. Having sex or doing sexual things should be a consensual thing. It should not only be okay with one person, it should be okay with both people. No one should force anyone to do anything they do not want to do. Men should not expect women to have sex just because they go out on one date. Women, nowadays, cannot have male friends for the same reason. They are taken advantage of. It is not a comfortable situation; therefore, sexual harassment should stop. A ‘no’ is not necessarily required. If someone shows doubt and discomfort, that should be enough for the other person to stop.
In conclusion, Ansari is a great example of what someone should not so. He should have stopped immediately and stopped trying. If he felt that he was forcing himself onto her and she was not reacting he should have known better. He should have pulled away and talked to her, instead, of being persistent. One cannot judge her. A lot of people are saying that if she did not want anything to happen, she could have walked away; however, in situations like that, people panic. One can never know how the other person is going to react. Therefore, she had no fault in what happened. He should take full responsibility.
Work Cited
“I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life.”
Babe, 15 Jan. 2018, babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355.
Izadi, Elahe. “Aziz Ansari responds to sexual-Misconduct allegation.” The
Washington Post, WP Company, 15 Jan. 2018,
