“How many girls mask autism spectrum disorder, like me?”
“Females are placed under a lot of pressure to fit in, and I think that drives us to develop coping mechanisms. I read a paper on memory that said female brains are naturally better than male ones at storing up scripts in social situations. When I was growing up, I would observe people around me, see how they were behaving, and develop a script to get myself through it. Also, when females with ASD get an obsession it’s not typically with the same things that males with ASD get into. I’ve never been interested in trains or timetables — I’m not collecting information. I was obsessed with more normal things.”
I think this observation is hugely important.
When I ask for advice about a social problem, I find that men are much more likely than women to assume that it’s easy and realistic to just ignore the social situation, to just not care about the other person’s opinion or behavior. It’s just never been true or real that I could ignore other’s opinions of me, and I think that has a lot to do with being socialized as a woman. There is a requirement of availability to others, there is something wrapped up in the gender norms about having intimate and caring relationships. And maybe men are socialized away from that.
Related: Women with ADHD and heart attacks are also underdiagnosed, partially because of social norms.
