“You’re Not “Awkward” With Women. You’re Just Creepy”
“I’ve noticed that “being awkward” has become this weird shield for guys to excuse behavior that is way closer to creepy, harassing and downright rapey. They act as if “never learning how to talk to girls” is some sort of mental disability the rest of us should be tolerant of rather than a conscious choice on their part not to bother considering the feelings of others when they speak…
This is not being “awkward.” Ross from Friends was awkward when he would flirt with girls by naming types of gas. This is being a creep and hoping that a combination of societal expectations and fear of escalation on the part of the person you’re creeping on will allow you to get away with it consequence-free.”
It’s not just randos in social situations, this “awkward” excuse gets guys out of trouble in professional situations too. In the academic science world, SO many professors get away with treating female scientists like shit because they are “awkward” or “nerdy”, despite also being adults in positions of power. In offices, managers are forgiven for their microagressions or for failing to communicate with female staff members. It’s also a great, great way to get away with racist slips of the tongue. And for whatever reason, awkwardness is only forgivable in menmen and is only brought up when they have harmed someone — it never seems to interfere with their career advancement.
I want there to be a day when we #CallOutAwkwardMen, when women expose men to some of the shame and burden we were socialized with. A day when we ask men to make us more comfortable in social situations.
