Anthony Bourdain’s Life Lessons Still Apply

We recently took a trip to Maine with the kids. I wouldn’t exactly call it a “getaway,” since we’ve all been quarantined together for the better part of the past six months. It was more of a change of scene.

I don’t re-read books that often but on this vacation I re-read one of my favorite memoirs — Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. I still remember the first time I read it on a flight from California; Bourdain’s storytelling was engrossing.

As I’ve written before, I (along with many others) appreciated Bourdain’s perspective. Many of his thoughts on life resonate with me. Among them:

Don’t judge a person until you know their story;

Be wary of anyone who treats waitstaff poorly;

Stand up for those who may not have strong voices of their own;

The best things in life (including meals) are often the most simple;

Never put ketchup on a hot dog (unfortunately my daughter has yet to learn this one);

And perhaps most importantly in the current moment, a real conversation over a meal or drink remains the best way to get to know someone and understand where they’re coming from.

Knowing how Bourdain’s story ends changed the experience of reading the book this time around. Reading the book now (just as with watching his shows), it’s hard not to see the signs. The dark, somewhat nihilistic worldview, the self-loathing, and of course self-destructive behavior. Many of his wonderfully told stories are now come with a hint of sadness.

It’s the same book, but the perspective of the reader has shifted. Like listening to a song by the late Chris Cornell, or watching a movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman. It reminds of the amazing talents possessed by them, of course, but you can’t help but notice the pain that’s not too far below the surface.

Reaffirming that in life, with very few exceptions, we rarely know what’s going on with the people we encounter day to day. Probably a good reminder the next time someone is rude on the phone, or the checkout line.