Keep New Zealand Beautiful? Kiwis, Climate Change and the Fart Tax
We’re very serious about our biosecurity. “Oh, you forgot you had an orange in your purse? That’s a 400 dollars fine, Ma’am.” The Phrase “Keep New Zealand Beautiful,” is often displayed in airport arrival terminals, alongside hefty fines for bringing in undeclared goods. You’d be surprised to learn how much our government revenue comes from the pockets of clueless Chinese tourists. Too bad we’re not nearly as efficient at keeping out climate change.
Americans — and the rest of the world — have always thought of New Zealand as an isolated paradise: somewhere you would go for a two-week getaway. I’ve spent some time considering how my own identity as a New Zealander fit into this picture.
Apocalypse Insurance
Apart from the beautiful scenery, the absurd amount of sheep and sky-high skin cancer rates, we also happened to be the top getaway location for Silicon Valley venture capitalists! In an article published by the New Yorker titled “Doomsday Prep for the Super-Rich” is it really surprising to learn billionaires such as Reid Hoffman are eyeing New Zealand as some form of “apocalypse insurance?”
Hoffman is the founder of LinkedIn, and he’s got boatloads of money. At first sight of trouble, he’ll be boarding his Gulfstream jet, which will fly across the Pacific Ocean, and reach New Zealand within 10 hours. Then he’s going to bury himself in his underground bunker with an AK47, a Gasmask and enough caviar SPAM for the rest of his Vitamin D deficient life. As far as I know, the North Korean nukes can only reach as far as our North Island, so I’d say Hoffman lucked out on this one.
Hoffman and his bunker aside, how do Kiwis feel about climate change? It may surprise you to learn that New Zealand is not exempt from the inevitable catastrophe that is climate change. According to the Ministry for the Environment’s report in 2018, New Zealand will suffer a range of consequences, including extreme droughts, tropical diseases, flash floods and most amusingly “increased demand for air conditioning.” God forbid my bills to go up, how appalling.
Taxing Farts
We love our farms — but unfortunately — so does methane. In New Zealand’s Greenhouse Gas Inventory 1990–2016 published by Ministry for the Environment in 2018. The agriculture sector is responsible for 49.2 percent of New Zealand’s gross emissions. It’s no surprise considering the majority of our national exports are from the agriculture sector.
According to The Guardian’s article, “Farmers raise stink over New Zealand ‘fart tax’.” When the New Zealand government attempted to levy a tax on farmers to research how to reduce their own emissions, there were outbursts of angry protests against what they called a “fart-tax,” despite the majority of methane coming from burps. As the cows happily burp away — climate change will hit New Zealand — and it will hit the agriculture sector first. When that happens, the Kiwi farmers will be less concerned with “fart-taxes” and more confused as to why floods and droughts don’t cancel each other out.
Then it is even more puzzling why our national government has no remorse purchasing and using fraudulent emission credits from Russia and Ukraine. According to RNZ’s article in 2016 titled “NZ accused of climate change ‘cheating’.” Allowing New Zealand to blow past the agreed 2020 goals without being held remotely accountable. In our hypocrisy to “Keep New Zealand Beautiful,” we’re turning a blind eye to our lacklustre climate change efforts.
Net Carbon Zero
Credit where credit is due. Last year, in an unprecedented act of unification: our Parliament (that’s Congress for people who landed on the moon) has come together on the topic of climate change; acknowledging its reality and the necessity of actions. Since then, we’ve introduced the Zero Carbon Act, which has been described by Stuff NZ as a “flagship climate change policy.” The bill aims to reduce all gases other than methane to “net-zero” by 2050. Robert McLachlan, professor of climate science, described this bill as:
“ a strong signal to New Zealand and the world that we are taking our Paris Agreement commitments seriously. The choices made in the Zero Carbon Bill will be a great help and inspiration to them”
This is what the Kiwis should be doing.
Stepping Up
New Zealand has a population of 4.7 million people; in the global scheme of Carbon emissions, we make up for a small fraction of the contributors. But it is precisely our circumstances that put us into the best position to lead.
We won’t be joining the crowd of bystanders. If no one else, then the cue for action will have to come from ourselves. As Richard Williams once said: “the thing about truth is: it can be denied, not avoided.” Climate change is a global crisis facing all of humankind. American Congress is chock full of bureaucracy, and swift action does not come easily; the burden of action has fallen upon the Kiwis. So we’ll take our small beautiful island and show the world what a carbon-free, sustainable future can look like.
We only hope that others will follow; at the end of the day, it’s a global effort mate.
