Idea for Sketch
And now it’s time for another installment of characters I’ll soon be pitching to SNL.
#2348769
Guy who answers every trivial pursuit question with something racist (and is genuinely surprised when he’s wrong).
Sample (actual) Trivial Pursuit questions:
Who was Liza Minelli referring to when she said, “When she was sad, she was sadder than anyone.”
- Paula Deen?
Which Italian novel for children has been adapted in over 240 languages?
- Mein Kampf.
Who has never been Batman — Matt Damon, Christian Bale, George Clooney, Val Kilmer, or Adam West?
- Was it Mel Gibson? I think it was Mel Gibson. Why has Mel Gibson never been Batman? Shame [shakes head].
What alloy do Copper and Tin form?
- Guys… guys, guys, guys… affirmative action is just not fair.
What film was Marilyn Monroe fired from just before her death?
- I wanna say Mein Kampf, The Musical.
#876234
World’s Worst Matchmaker, at an office holiday party. Constantly suggesting to pal standing next to him that sparks are flying between horribly odd pairs of people chatting. Could include:
- Coworker’s very pregnant wife chatting about holiday travel with another coworker’s husband;
- 60-year-old newly widowed man making small talk while ordering a drink from the barely-legal bartender;
- CEO thanking the busboy who cleared his plate (World’s Worst Matchmaker gets mad at pal for not indulging this fantasy, calls him a homophobe);
- Coworkers who are obviously identical twins;
Begins every declaration with “Mmmm methinks Cupid hath struck…!”, while slyly nudging pal with elbow. (Has smug, optimistic grin; Tobias-Fünke-manner of speaking)
