Multiple Casualties Reported in Genocidal Rampage on the Animal Kingdom
Multiple Homicides have been reported in the Animal Kingdom over the course of the ‘festive season’ with many reports claiming that the Animals plan to seek repatriation from the “genocidal human race”.
Sources from Farm Network News (FNN), in particular, have been very disheartening, with one report claiming that there are hardly any chickens left to cross the road and another claiming that there are no sheep left to count to fall asleep, even in one’s imagination. The said report was given the gloomy title- “OUR SHEEP HAVE SAILED!”
In a video posted on the official Twitter page of renowned animal activist Billy the Goat- @TheRealBillytheGOAT a few hours ago, Billy said:
“We have s – a – aa – t idly by for too long as our brothers and sisters have been slaughtered by humans, We have s – a – aa – t idly by for too long as the humans have fought their wars and destroyed our landscapes, it’s time for a change and we shall not sit idly by for it to happen, we shall demand it…”
It is believed that the leaders of the Animal Kingdom will meet later this week to discuss whether to set terms for future dealings with the human kingdom to finally develop the Animal Kingdom or whether to cut ties with the human kingdom altogether.
Many fear that this might be the first major animal rights issue since the first serpent sued the writers of the Bible for defamation of character, a matter that was controversially settled out of court.
We certainly hope it doesn’t get to that stage as litigation will most likely affect supply of delicious, delicious protein.
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