A Queen and Her Knight: Ari Meets Mistress Nazz

Ari’s been looking for his ideal Domme partner since his teenage years in the States — who knew he’d find her in Thailand?

Ari Chase-Ramos (32) is an up-and-coming author currently writing about his experiences of meeting his Queen — Mistress Nazz — in Thailand. The couple met on Tinder this year and have been playing together since, helping Mistress Nazz unlock her a naturally-dominant side she didn’t even know she had.

How did this unlikely duo find each other and what advice do they have for others seeking a gentle femdom lifestyle dynamic?

Unconventional Love Story

For Ari and Mistress Nazz, things happened quite quickly. After chatting for two weeks on Tinder, they agreed to meet up for dinner. Things started off as normal, vanilla dating but both parties knew upfront that the other had kinky inclinations — this was already established before the first meeting.

This was Nazz’s first venture into femdom but not Ari’s. He knew what he wanted and set up his dating profile accordingly, making it obvious that he sought a dominant partner. For example, his profile included a picture of him wearing a collar and one of Aristotle being ridden by a woman.

“I always knew I was submissive,” Ari said. He discovered femdom in his teens already but was scared to delve deeper into his fantasies; he didn’t really know where to look for what he wanted. Over the years, he dated some girls who were open to certain parts of kinky play but never anyone willing to commit to a full femdom dynamic. Not until he met Queen Nazz…

As Ari got older, especially during the pandemic, he started feeling freer to try different things and actually met a Domme in real life for the first time. Things didn’t work out though. Then, when he got to Thailand, he set up his Tinder to represent more accurately what he was looking for.

Shortly after, he matched with Nazz on the app, in April 2023. Their chat went straight into kinky topics. Ari was immediately drawn to her wicked sense of humor and knew quite early on that had found who he was looking for.

These days, Nazz’s close friends know about her and Ari’s dynamic and they are very supportive. “They know me and they can see that I’m happy.” But her other friends often just feel weird when she openly starts talking about her dynamic. They don’t want to know more about it. This is a common response and can be hard to deal with.

How Does It Work?

The couple is monogamous but does not practice their dynamic 24/7; they do not live together but spend a lot of time together. Although Nazz is dominant and likes to make decisions for both of them, Ari still retains his freedom to stand up for himself.

Nazz considers them a good match because Ari adjusts himself to match her energy — and she also adjusts to match him. It took some time to get to know each other and what they’re into but both were willing to put in the work — and actually enjoyed exploring. They still do.

It helps that Nazz was a quick learner. Even when trying certain kinky scenes for the first time, she quickly picked it up and got into it. To the point that she was soon coming up with ideas for role plays and scenarios herself. “I feel more fun when playing with Ari. It’s because I trust him and I’m comfortable.”

Ari likes that Nazz is open-minded and very funny. “And she takes care of me.” He explains how their relationship has grown and how they have gotten more comfortable with each other over time. It’s the little things she does that make him happy. Like buying food and feeding him.

For Nazz, she said it’s like having a pet. You love and feed them and cuddle and kiss them. “And if he’s naughty or doesn’t listen to me, I’ll get mad and punish him.” Although she is very nurturing, she can be quite a strict teacher too. Most importantly — “I enjoy being with him,” Nazz said.

A few times they even displayed their dynamic in public with Nazz putting Ari on a leash and walking him through the markets or to the bar. “It was really cool how that developed because at first, I was like scared to do it, but I just did it,” Ari said. “Some people were looking at us funny, but who cares?”

For Ari, getting rid of the shame that he personally felt for his desires has been a journey. “Now, I’m at the point now where I just don’t care what people think or how they see me.” Often it’s just you imagining how people would see you, making it worse in your head.

Open to Explore

In terms of boundaries and which kinks they enjoy, the couple is pretty open and likes to explore new things together. Their hard limits lie in blood and permanent scarring.

Nazz particularly enjoys taking photos and humiliating Ari. She also likes dressing sexy; wearing something kinky like stockings and heels. Also gloves. She also enjoys putting Ari between her legs, she said.

There are still some scenes they haven’t explored yet but are curious to try — like pegging. Ari has never been pegged but is open to the idea of Nazz pegging him in future — when they’re both ready.

Looking After Each Other

The couple considers their dynamic a gentle femdom one. “We might pretend that she’s torturing me or playing mean, but we really care about each other,” Ari explained. “We’re doing the scene because we’re enacting some kind of fantasy. But I always know it’s a fantasy, set in a certain time and space. It can always be ended if it goes too far or I get out of my headspace. I always feel very safe.”

The couple has a safe word, so Ari knows he can always stop a scene if need be. Especially at first, Nazz didn’t know how far she could go. But now they know each other better and Ari hasn’t had to use his safe word again in ages.

“It comes back to trusting your partner and knowing no real harm will come to you,” Ari explained.

It’s not just about keeping each other safe physically but mentally too. There are a lot of emotions involved in a scene sometimes; a rollercoaster of emotions that can lead to sub-drop after a scene if not managed properly. But Ari hasn’t experienced any sub-drop since playing with Nazz. He attributes this to knowing himself better and knowing how to handle a scene. Also, the security he has in their dynamic helps.

With a previous play partner, he didn’t have a lot of boundaries and would say yes to almost anything. That, coupled with the insecurity of their relationship, led to some crazy sub-drop at the time, he remembers.

Now, he’s learned how to balance playing the slave while still standing up for himself if need be. “I’ve realized that it’s about going after what you and your partner both mutually want, not just trying to be the perfect slave and saying yes to everything.” This is a balance many new subs struggle to find, often ignoring red flags and not setting any boundaries. “You don’t really know when to stop at first. You’re so excited to try it and it can lead to abuse if you’re not careful.”

The couple practices aftercare but doesn’t really identify it as such. It just naturally forms part of their dynamic and how they look after and care for each other. For instance, a scene might start with Nazz making Ari worship her feet, or maybe whipping him or putting a candle on him. This leads to him licking her pussy and maybe even penetrative sex. Afterwards, it naturally gets to the cuddling part.

Impact of Femdom

Femdom has had a big impact on Nazz’s life. “It just makes me feel confident. And I never feel guilty. It’s just fun and has fulfilled something in my life that I never had before.”

Ari was not only Nazz’s first femdom experience but also her first long-term relationship. Before, she just had short dating experiences. “When I met Ari, I was a bit confused about whether I liked this way or not. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized I do enjoy playing like this. It’s a part of my life now. He opened my mind.”

According to Ari, even though Nazz had no previous femdom experience, from the moment they started talking, it was clear that she was completely dominant and “bossy.” Even before meeting, she told him she was going to be his “devil Mistress” and make him sleep by her feet. “She was a natural right from the start.”

Before moving to Thailand, Ari lived in China for several years. He spoke the local language fluently and dated local girls. They were only ever into certain parts of femdom and he never managed to experiment more and explore the other kinks he was into. For instance, the one girl only wanted to sit on his face and make him worship her pussy. “Now I get to try it all.”

Ari was always drawn to the idea of service and wanted to be the knight to his queen. Even when having vanilla sex or doing a simple position like missionary, the focus should still be on making her cum. “For me, it’s about making sure that she’s serviced and happy first.”

A Word of Advice

Nazz’s advice to new Dommes is simple: “Start slowly. Try not to kill each other. See what you both like and find the balance.” It takes time to get to know someone and find out where your (and their) limits lie. “Relationships take time. Don’t rush things.” Do research and get to know your partner.

It can be a struggle to find a true dominant partner, Ari added. His advice to subs seeking a femdom relationship is to first try to incorporate kinky play into a “normal” relationship and not to be shy to ask for what they want. This could be easier said than done though. “It goes against traditional gender roles and many have shame around that and don’t know how to bring it up.”

But if you don’t ask, you’ll always end up wanting something, missing something, Ari said. “So in my experience, it’s always best to start the conversation early. Find out if the girl you’re pursuing is open to a potentially kinky dynamic.”

Ari’s key advice to subs can be summed up in one line: “Don’t be an asshole.” According to him, “a sub should be a gentleman” — especially when pursuing a dominant woman and wanting to serve her.

He also cautioned against being a pushover. “Be open-minded and be flexible.” Plus, be a good listener, and don’t make it all about you. Especially if you want to be put in a submissive role. Listen to what the Domme wants (and needs) too. “Be respectful.”

Then, when consuming online femdom content, be mindful of the context, Ari said. Know that you’re consuming some made-up story that is engaging with your fantasies. Many of the portrays show the extremes, often showing the Domme as sadistic or the villain (especially in Hollywood). “But that’s not real life, that’s fantasy.”

There are some good movies though. Ari recommends a Korean movie called Love & Leashes (on Netflix) which follows two colleagues at work trying to find a relationship that suits them both. It really shows them encountering real problems that dominant women and submissive men encounter in their relationships in life. They are also very caring and supportive of each other.

More About the Couple

Ari feels very lucky that his Queen Nazz supports him and loves the fact that he consumes kinky content. She was the one who encouraged him to publish his first erotic novella — featuring the events of when they met and their story together.

After they played together, he wrote the first draft of the story in only 30 minutes on his phone. Nazz liked it so much that she told him to write a longer version. Ari did, and Nazz shared it with her friends. Everyone liked it and that’s how his first novella Learning to Love My Leash came about…

Ari is currently busy working on a full-length book on the subject. Watch this space!