Gentle Parenting
5 Non Coercive Tips to Help Kids Wean from Pacifier or Thumb Sucking
Weaning from Pacifiers and Thumb Sucking
Babies need to suck to get their sustenance, but it is also soothing.
As busy modern parents, we often introduce a pacifier to give them a tool to self soothe. Or many little ones suck their thumbs or fingers. Mainstream culture pressures kids to drop self-soothing tools at age two, and teeth and mouth development concerns start at age four.
And prolonged sucking can affect mouth development, but it’s also noted using shame and coercion will cause more harm than these tools.
There are some strategies we can use to help our kids building self-soothing skills to aid in their transition away from pacifiers.
Introduce a transition object
Your child may already have a favorite stuffed animal or blanket. If they don’t, introducing one is an excellent step for adding new soothing strategies. Different objects to chew or suck on suck as helpful too.
Teaching New Self-Soothing Skills
Calming music, or a soothing song to sing to repeat
Practicing meditation and breathing,
Extra cuddles
Fidget toys, and alternate chewing or mouthing toys for kids who need oral sensory input.
Empathy, Emotional Coaching, and Modeling Self Soothing
Kids learn what they experience. Respond to all upset with empathy and connection. When you are upset, let your kids know you are having feelings and you are using skills like deep breathing to help yourself self-soothe.
Check out our empathy and emotional coaching units for more help. Unit 6 in the learning section.
Boredom Sucking
My favorite way to keep preschoolers and toddlers busy is sensory play. This keeps their hands busy, which helps. Playdough, rice, water, ice, paint are all fun ideas.
High energy play is my other favorite busy time. Jumping, crashing, running, rolling, pushing. So many great ways to play.
Honest discussion
You can discuss the plan with your child. Explain they need to learn other ways to soothe themselves. There are lots of amazing videos on teaching emotions and the brain science behind them to kids that can help them.
Once you are rolling with those alternative soothing strategies, you can limit access to the oral soothers.
Adding in fidget toys and alternatives chewing toys increases. Admin Andrea Granieri used the following plan: For example, we started with only in bed and in the car. We explained we had to keep the pacifier in the bed to keep it safe.
Most kids transition away from these tools around 4–6 years as they explore the world, become more social, start school and their brain matures.
Please let us know if you have questions about this or any other concerns. We are here to help you.
