Cultivate Your Life.
Let go of control, and focus on creating the conditions that allow you to bloom.
The smell of fresh cut grass reached my senses while out on my daily walk. A neighbor was out riding his lawn mower, cigarette dangling from his mouth as he made a methodical journey across his yard.
Did you know that the smell of fresh cut grass is actually the smell of trauma?
According to a study published in Science, when plants, such as grass, are injured, they release a series of volatile organic compounds to prevent fungal infection and speed up the closure of their wounds. This is what we experience as the smell of freshly cut grass.
I pondered this as I glanced around the neighborhood to see all the well-kept lawns, controlled and cut into submission. And I thought about how we also bring this mentality upon ourselves, with our own self-judgement, our desire to conform ourselves into “success”, and our attempts to manicure our lives to produce the right outward appearance.
Is this the goal of our lives? To cut ourselves into submission?
As I then wandered into our yard, I noticed my step-father tending to his vegetable garden. Everyday he spends hours in the garden nurturing the crops — with water, with nutrients, with care — so they will grow into their maturity. I was struck by the difference.
Now, I am not here to debate the ethos of lawn care.
Instead I want to ask: How is it that we’re treating ourselves?
In the pursuit of being our best selves, there is a nuanced line between exerting trauma-inducing self-control and cultivating the conditions we need to blossom.
We are bombarded with external expectations of how we should operate. Many self-improvement movements claim to have the ingredients for “success”. We can easily get lost in comparisons and thrust self-judgement upon ourselves. As a result, we cut upon ourselves, both literally and figuratively, in an effort to measure up to the vision we have formed for our lives.
But is this the equivalent of evoking trauma upon ourselves? Is there a better way to grow in this life? Can we take a lesson from the garden?
Let’s consider the purpose of each effort to understand the possibilities.
Often the result of a highly manicured anything is to impress. To impress our neighbors. To impress ourselves. To be pleased that everything is perfect, clean and in order. And to accomplish this, we employ an almost surgical approach that does not require any nurture. Not one patch should be left untouched, lest the “perfection” be tarnished.
Conversely, the goal of the garden is for the plants within it to flourish. The plants don’t need to be perfectly placed on display. We grant them the appropriate space to evolve and form as they are meant to be, providing the right combination of nutrients and nurture, and we celebrate the growth that unfolds.
Bringing this back to you.
If you are on a path of mowing and manicuring yourself into perfection, I invite you to pause. Ask yourself — what would it mean to cultivate instead?
In the process of cultivation, we let go of control. While we plant for growth, we let go of specific outcomes. But we don’t just “let everything go” and allow the weeds to rise up. There is still intention. There is still effort. There is still a careful honing of our environment. We surround the garden with all it needs to produce the greatest growth. And this looks different for different crops, different flowers and different plants.
Today, recognize that you are both the garden and the gardener.
Allow these reflection questions to guide you as you allow yourself to bloom in your own unique way:
- Are you operating in the best environment for your growth? Different plants require different climates. Are you in the right climate? If not, what is within your power to shift?
- Is your goal to bloom into a certain form … or into the form that is innate to you? Notice the comparisons you make when you look around at other gardens and remember that they have been planted with very different seeds.
- Are you benefiting from all the right nutrients, at the right amount for you? What inspires us and helps us grow is unique to us. What do you need more or less of in your life?
- What is inhibiting your space? Are there weeds cropping up and tangling your roots? Is there anything you need to eliminate from your life?
- Where are you getting your energy? Remember that plants are nourished through the ground and by the sky. Stretch your roots down into the earth and let it ground you. Lift your heart and mind up to the sun and let it invigorate you.
- How are you treating your garden within? Are you gentle? Nurturing? Mindful? Extend a kind gentleness toward yourself. You deserve it.
Relax. Breathe. Ground. Expand. Grow into the beauty you already are.
It’s time for you to blossom.
Feeling out of balance?
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