We Are All Caregivers
“There are only four kinds of people in the world — those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” - Rosalynn Carter
This piece is written by Casey Koppelson, the Director of Operations for GET (Gender Equity in Tech) Cities, a national initiative designed to accelerate the power and influence of historically excluded people and places in tech through ecosystem alignment and activation to build a more equitable and vibrant economy. She is currently raising two kids in Berkeley, CA.
Less than three weeks after my first child was born, while still in that 24-hour waking dream of cluster feeding every few hours, my husband went back to work full-time. His employer, a multi-million-dollar media company, had no formal parental leave policy at the time, and required heavy travel and in-person shoots. I went back to work a few months later, still healing from childbirth, having patched together paid, partial and unpaid leave from my tech startup employer. During my pumping breaks in an unlocked utility closet, I remember advising a pregnant colleague on how to navigate the confusing parental leave bureaucracy. “If it feels like it’s intentionally complicated, it’s because it is.”
Later, another colleague’s mother unexpectedly fell ill. Their experience was similar to a new parent’s — a swirl of medical appointments, arranging home care, and rushing home from work to be with family — but with even less support from our employer. We talked often about these similarities and realized: If we want to see meaningful change around caregiving support, we need to band together. The caregiving movement extends far beyond parents to those with caregiving responsibilities for sick, elderly and disabled family members.
Research from RCIC shows that caregiver employees provide an average of 20 unpaid caregiving hours per week, with nearly one-third of caregiver employees quitting a job because of their caregiving responsibilities. “Some family caregivers reap great joys from caring for a loved one, but others find caregiving responsibilities complicated, stressful, and isolating. Family caregiving spans a wide spectrum, ranging from occasional assistance with housework and shopping or financial support on one end, to daily wound care and administering medication on the other.” And as our working population gets older, these needs will only become more urgent.
I now run operations for an initiative with a mission to make the workplace and entrepreneurial ecosystems more equitable for historically excluded people in tech, particularly women, trans and nonbinary people. Functionally, our initiative was a startup too; our HR policies for needs like parental and family caregiving leave were initially nascent or nonexistent. As a parent and family caregiver, I was determined to find ways to create the budget and executive buy-in to reform them and make them work for all of the parents and family caregivers and future caregivers on our team.
And…it is hard. Actually, it is impossible. Without government support for paid leave, the burden falls solely on employers, and even those who care to prioritize it will face multiple hurdles to implementation. Currently just 27% of workers receive paid family leave, and just 15% of companies with 99 or fewer employees have access to employer-provided paid leave. This is a primary reason why startups cannot compete with large corporations for talent. This is also why founders — especially those who are women and/or also people of color — burnout. Small businesses and startups are at a huge disadvantage to large companies, with their economies of scale and larger workforces to draw from to cover employee leave.
This National Caregivers Day, February 16th, I ask you to consider your past, present and future self as a parent or caregiver for an aging or disabled family member and take action to improve conditions for ALL caregivers.
For employers, (RCI)’s recommendations are an excellent starting point. Begin with an audit of your workforce to gain clarity on the number of and demands on caregivers in your workplace. Next, provide education and increase awareness on existing employee benefits. Aim to maximize access to and use of paid leave. Provide access to counseling services and mental health providers, particularly those with caregiving expertise, and consider utilizing a concierge caregiver support service or navigation resources to help employees understand and access available resources, training, and programs. Lastly, set up an employee caregiving interest group to serve as a resource to management and other employees.
However, singular employers can only go so far. At the systems level, it is crucial that we support legislation like the Family And Medical Insurance Leave (FAMILY) Act to create paid family and medical leave. The U.S. is the only high-income country that does not have paid parental leave or any national family caregiving or medical leave policy.
Lastly, I encourage you to follow and support organizations like the National Partnership for Women and Families, Caring Across Generations and the National Alliance for Caregiving.
In the meantime, as coworkers, bosses, managers, and friends, we can acknowledge our own identities as caregivers, past, future and present, recognize the caregivers in our lives and offer our gratitude, grace and support as they navigate a system that doesn’t always care for them.
