Is The Body Positive Movement Fostering Pseudo Self-love?
The Body Positive Movement has been really taking off lately, but it’s a two-sided coin. And sadly, it’s often fostering pseudo self-love.
Does this mean we should go back to our “old ways” where extremely air-brushed, super-skinny models and restrictive dieting are celebrated? Allow me to share some of my unique observations about the Body Positive Movement, and you can decide for yourself.
The dark side of self-love and self-acceptance
If you want to be healthy and happy, it’s absolutely vital to love and accept yourself. There’s no doubt about it.
But when you truly and deeply love yourself, you don’t do anything that would harm your body. And it’s a fact that being overweight, eating processed foods, drinking alcohol and living a sedentary lifestyle damages your health. Where’s the love in that?
No one says you need to be perfect. You might want to enjoy that glass of wine with Christmas dinner, eat a piece of cake on your friend’s birthday or have a bowl of pasta on a date night. But if you truly love yourself and your body, you do it because you want to have that social experience and you know that you take a good care of your body at all other times. You don’t pretend that you can eat cupcakes all day long because you love yourself and allow yourself to have whatever you want, no matter at what body size.
I once was overweight and I know how it feels to carry excess 40 lbs of fat. It’s uncomfortable. It’s a burden on your joints. It’s a risk factor for heart disease (the number one death cause in Western countries), type 2 diabetes, arthritis and even cancer. If you truly love yourself, why put your beloved body at risk?
I’m not suggesting that the whole Body Positive Movement promotes being overweight and not caring about your health. However, there are some “weight loss” programs that tell you that you can just love yourself and eat cheese, bread and drink wine, and as a result you’ll be happy and not have to care about your weight anymore!
Is it really self-love or is it an escape from reality? I know how it feels when you drink some wine — a little dizzy, happy and carefree. I used to drink wine every weekend because I knew no better ways to deal with the stressful life I was living back in 2009. Did it make me happier? For a moment — maybe. But such habits made my life more and more miserable.
I understand why people love these programs and teachers: people love to hear good things about their bad habits. But isn’t it delusional to believe that indulging in your senses and not taking action to lose excess weight, which is a health risk, is an act of self-love?
What is pseudo self-love?
Pseudo self-love is when you try to convince yourself that you love yourself and totally accept your body, yet deep inside you suffer and feel ashamed of your body and yourself.
I know women who admire the Body Positive Movement and share those messages on their social media, yet in private say that they still feel unhappy inside and ashamed of their bodies.
We may decide to accept ourselves intellectually, but if we don’t change our underlying beliefs and behavioral patterns, we’ll continue suffering and feeling inadequate, whether at size 0 or 18.
Another problem is that there are women who use this Body Positive Movement as a permission slip to eat junk food and practice other unhealthy behaviors, sometimes even proudly announcing their choices.
Is the Body Positive Movement bad?
Do I suggest we should stop the Body Positive Movement? No. I do not think that is necessary, or possible. The movement can be a force for good. It’s amazing to see women standing up for themselves, posting non-photoshopped or makeup-free pictures and other liberating messages.
But like with most things in life, there’s this pendulum swing phenomenon that tends to go to extremes.
The pendulum swing phenomenon: from one extreme to another
One side of the extreme is the photoshopped models, excessively thin Barbie dolls and various direct and indirect messages in the media insinuating that women should only aspire to be exceptionally slim.
This extreme has definitely done damage to our perceptions about the female body. I was in the generation of girls who played with Barbie dolls and looked up to the extremely skinny models whose images dominated the media. It ruined my confidence when I was a teenager and put me on a journey of dieting, restriction and body-hate.
Now we’re witnessing the other extreme — the ubiquitous messages claiming that you don’t need to care about your health and that being overweight and having unhealthy lifestyle choices is OK.
Some actresses and other celebrities proudly say they eat pizza, doughnuts, drink beer and they don’t care. These women are role models that young people look up to. In my opinion there’s nothing to be proud of about making unhealthy lifestyle choices, especially when you have so much influence on the young generation. And what’s even sadder, is that this attitude is applauded and cheered.
Health vs attractiveness
The problem with the Body Positive Movement is that even though it started with good intentions, there’s still too much focus on appearance, e.g. looking hot in whatever body size.
Instead of all that focus on looks, why not try to focus on feeling our best and be the healthiest versions of us?
Let’s aim to be healthy, full of energy without relying on coffee and other stimulants, be at a healthy weight and have a body that serves us well in this life!
If we truly focus on that, we will eventually stop debating whether being obese is attractive or not, whether eating cake and drinking a bottle of champagne on Friday night is OK or not. It’s not about being OK or not OK. It’s about whether it serves you and makes you feel your best, or not.
Redefine the purpose of your body
If we shift our focus to health and seeing a body as a tool and a vehicle for the spirit, we will start acting differently. Lots of dilemmas, like should I eat this milk chocolate bar or have that venti frappuccino, will simply disappear. And we won’t need any willpower to make those decisions.
Does having an overweight body mean that you’re not good enough? Absolutely not. It just means that you were not taking care of yourself in the past. You didn’t prioritize your fitness or health. That’s it. This does not define who you are in the current moment.
You can make a decision in this moment to change it around, raise your standard and see the purpose of your body differently.
Embrace the attitude that your body is a device or a vehicle for your spirit, which enables you to have all the experiences and lessons that you came to this life to have. What type of body would enable and empower you the most?
Shifting your perception might be easy on a conscious level, yet later your subconscious will probably challenge you and try to bring you back to your “old self”.
The first step to overcome these challenges is to be conscious and completely honest with yourself. Stop distracting yourself with the messages other people convey about body image, and look within.
What is that you truly want? What type of body would enable you the most? What type of experiences do you want to have in this life?
Whenever you catch yourself making a health-related choice, ask yourself: “What would a person who loves herself do in this situation?”
The right answer will come to you instantly. Your spirit always knows.
About the Author
Osha Key is a Transformation Coach and Business Mentor who helps women revolutionize their lives by using unique tools to change their identity, tap into their limitless potential and connect to their purpose in life.
Find more at www.oshakey.com
So Where Should I Send Your Free Ebook?
Hey, if you loved this article, you will also probably love my free ebook, where I share more of my personal life stories + 3 incredibly powerful secrets to transforming your body and life.
Head over to www.oshakey.com and get your FREE copy today.
Side effects might include: finally achieving your goals, feeling beautiful, abundant, connected, sexy, and seen. Yes, it’s 100% available to you.
