A Brief History of St. Patricks’ Day in GIFs

Saint Patrick would be proud

Gather ’round children and put down your beers for just a sec. First of all, it’s the middle of the day, usually you wouldn’t be drinking, right? But alas, today is St. Patrick’s Day, so kick back and prepare to learn the true meaning of this debaucherous day. And yes, I was kidding about having to put down your beer. Drink up!

St. Patrick was a chill dude who lived in the 5th century, which is impressive for two reasons. First, it’s hard to be “chill” when there’s no modern plumbing and not a ton of people are living past like, 35 .

The 5th century was like if Medieval Times were real!

And secondly, St. Patrick was kidnapped from Rome and brought to Ireland as a slave, escaped, and then went back to Ireland on a mission to convert the heathens who enslaved him, because he was hardcore like that. Homie had a lot of reasons to be uptight, but rightfully we celebrate the guy.

Cheers, sir. You had every right to quit and you kept at it.

When he came back to Ireland he was determined to tell everyone about Jeezo.

The world shall know his dance moves.

And he did so by explaining the Holy Spirit using a shamrock, which the Irish were obviously all about. Everyone’s minds were completely blown. I know you’re a little drunk right now, but imagine an escaped Roman slave walking in, whipping out a tiny plant, and being like, “This is a gateway to the Lord.”

Exactly. Everyone pretty much got on board with St. Patrick and now Ireland is like the Catholic Holy Land (if you ignore the actual Catholic holy lands like Jerusalem and The Vatican). Rightly so, everyone wanted to celebrate St. Pat the only way one should be celebrated: with parades.

This is the president of Ireland doing a little Irish jig!

Irish immigrants in America had the brilliant idea to join together all these parades and make giant parades in the city. Not only was it an excuse to drink and party during Lent, but it was also a prime opportunity to show off the considerable size and voting power of Irish Americans.

This is the official face for, “I see what you did there.”

Politicians made it a priority to show up to these parades, because politicians will show up anywhere for a good crowd. Everyone wanted to join in on the party. St. Patrick’s Day morphed from a celebration of the man to a celebration of Ireland to a celebration of public intoxication and all things green.

Go home, Chicago, you’re drunk.

But hey, when it comes to celebrating Ireland, you’d me remiss not to have a drink in your hand. Cheers! You’re honoring the day exactly as it was meant to be.

And if you want to go above and beyond, gather a bunch of strangers and your favorite plant and convert them all to a religion they’ve never heard of. Who knows, it might catch on. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft

Originally published at medium.com.