A GIF Tribute to the Earth in All its Glorious Weirdness
Today is Earth Day so let us consider the subject at hand: the Earth. It is, for lack of better words, all we know. Sure we know Mars and Saturn but, like, they’re boring and barren. The Earth isn’t boring, it is weird. Majestic but weird. The Earth is the freakiest planet, and you know what? We’re going to celebrate that freaky side!
Let’s start with the absolute most insane part of the planet: the oceans. God or whatever front-end designer created our planet was like, “I’m gonna drown half the planet in water and fill it with nightmares just to freak out the humans. LOL.”
But humans, who are also weird, were just like, “Neat.”
The animals who live in the oceans were all clearly rejected from living on land because they’re so stupid-looking.
There are giant holes in the Earth that crazy people jump into.
And huge mountains crazy people jump off of.
Thanks, Earth, for providing these magnificent natural sites where adrenaline junkies can get their fix and the rest of us can get nice desktop background pics for our computers.
Moving on. Our freaky little planet isn’t just confined to the ground. Up North, electrically charged air particles light up the sky like a Miami nightclub circa 1984.
Beneath our feet, the planet is literally on fire, which sometimes comes out to say hello.
Isn’t it insane that this is happening all around us and we are all okay with it? I mean, of course we are; we don’t have anywhere else to go. At least not until Elon Musk starts selling those tickets to Mars.
That’s okay, though. Earth, in all its mood swings and random tsunamis and avalanches, has one thing no other planet in the solar system has: unlikely animal buds.
So hug a tree, kiss a dog, or link up with some passing flamingos and see what super weird stuff they’re up to. Let your freak flag fly to celebrate this freaky blue planet we live on. Happy Earth Day, Earth.
Kady Ruth Ashcraft is a writer/comedian/comedy writer! Has new bangs.
