The 89th Annual Academy Awards Were a Delight — With a Little Extra Cringe
When you tune into the Oscars, you know that you’re in for the entire gamut of human emotions — from awe, to anticipation, to tears, to amusement, to cringe, to eye-rolling are you kidding me? moments. The 89th annual Academy Awards delivered.
The night kicked off with our not-so-gracious host Jimmy Kimmel paying, um, unconventional homage to the most revered celebrities in attendance by delivering hilariously sarcastic roast after roast to the likes of Matt Damon and Meryl Streep. The queen of acting opted to hide from his playful insults, cowering into the shoulder of her also-cringing husband.
We get it, Jimmy — you’re a total dick! A very clever total dick, though.
Let’s face it. There were some BOMB films out this year. But before we get into the big wins of the night, we gotta talk about the red carpet at least a little bit, because fashion gossip is delish. Taraji P. Hensen brought it with class, velvet, and sex appeal — and she knew exactly how hard she was rocking tit *AHEM* it. She knew how hard she was rocking it.
But oof, on one of the biggest nights in his acting career, Ryan Gosling made the worst dressed list! SMH at his stylists for those weird ruffles. But like, it’s still Ryan Gosling. It’s cool.
Alright, let’s get to it.
Viola Davis took the award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Fences. And yes, she still knows how to deliver a tearjerker. But this one was a little macabre.
The award for Best Supporting Actor goes to… the incredible Mahershala Ali for Moonlight!
Ok — we all saw it coming — La La Land straight-up swept with 6 Oscars, including a Best Actress win for Emma Stone…
…but the highest honor of the night went to Moonlight IN THE MOST AWKWARD WAY POSSIBLE. Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway donked up big-time when they accidentally announced La La Land as the winner. The cast and crew of La La Land were in the middle of tearful speeches when the show actually ceased to go on. The win was meant for Moonlight, one of the most beautiful movies we’ve ever seen. BUT OH MY GOD, CRINGING SO HARD AT HOW THAT JUST PLAYED OUT.
On top of an awards show that smashed our expectations, some purely hilarious shit went down. There was the kid from Lion being epically raised up like Simba from The Lion King, who used the opportunity to announce the things in life that are most important to him.
Favorite.
Then, that moment when “real people” got to crash the Oscars. This guy was so into Instagramming and Snapchatting that he pretty much forgot where he actually was (typical Gary).
Jimmy Kimmel couldn’t resist a series of mean tweets, Oscar-style.
And it was a little awkward when Auli’i Cravalho, the voice of Moana, got whooshed in the head by a dancer’s scarf in the middle of a moving performance.
Main takeaways for the night? It’s time for all of us to break into the film industry so that parachutes full of candy shall rain upon us. Oh, and check your facts before making historical announcements to millions of onlookers.
