The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Is Very Confusing To Me, A Straight Woman

Victoria’s Secret is a strange and confusing brand. The people who buy their products are primarily women (and a handful of kinky men), and yet their fashion show seems to be targeted primarily at straight men. It also features some weird fashion.

Let’s take a look!

You can’t even see the lingerie this woman is wearing because she is also wearing a GIANT DRAGON. Why??

I can’t tell if this woman is wearing a sheer sparkle bodysuit or has rolled in glitter. Either way, I would not pay money for this look.

Okay, I know faux fur is trendy, but 1) PINK?? 2) CROPPED??? WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS.

It’s like a garter belt for your shoulders? Maybe? That’s the most charitable guess I can muster.

Disappointed in Lady Gaga for not informing this poor woman that her dress has slipped down.

We left leg-of-mutton sleeves in the 1890s for a reason.

Glad that Kendall Jenner is recovering from her apparent car accident apace, but if she still needs a neckbrace maybe she should just stay home and rest.

I was going to make a snarky comment about the components of this outfit but I didn’t even know where to begin

Women like pink, you guys. They like it so much.

The only things women like more than pink are ribbons and dresses shaped like potato sacks. I would know, I’ve been a woman for years.

This year’s VSFS has me more confused than ever about both the retail industry and the straight male psyche. Either Victoria’s Secret is getting a lot of things very wrong, or straight men are even weirder than I thought.