It’s been ten weeks since Rachel Hollis announced her split from husband, Dave Hollis.
And if you’re like me, a longtime fan, you’re still pissed about it.
When I first heard the announcement, I thought, “That’s it. I’m done. She’s a fraud.”
Rachel Hollis broke (some of) our hearts.
What kind of person throws marriage conferences and doles out relationship advice, knowing full well that their own marriage is breaking apart?
I stayed in this anger mode for a while. I read every article I could. I listened to every theory about their split.
A few of my favorite posts?
- “Rachel Hollis, Mommy Blogger and Relationship Coach Is Getting a Divorce” by Shannon Ashley
- “I Was Totally Duped By Rachel Hollis” by Gillian Sisley.
And how do I feel now?
Still pissed. Still betrayed. But I also feel a sense of loss.
Rachel Hollis is a fallen hero, but she sure isn’t acting like it. She’s back to preaching on Instagram Live. She’s trying to jump right back so fast that we forget how she fooled us all.
I’ve done some reflecting. I know why we’re still mad. And why we may be madder than ever.
Rachel Hollis is not sorry that you feel tricked.
When the Hollis “power couple” first announced their divorce, Rachel stepped away from social media. I thought this was a good move. Go ahead and Taylor Swift this, Rachel.
But that didn’t last long.
A little over a month and a half later, she was on Instagram Live with a video titled “Keep Going.” A week after that? She announced her new book, “Didn’t See That Coming.”
Rachel is not oblivious to the criticism, but she’s going to ignore it anyway.
This is a couple who has been cashing in on telling people how to be good at relationships, doling out sex advice, holding relationship conferences. And yet… where’s the explanation? Where’s the apology?
“What I practiced in the past was caring more about your opinion of me than my opinion of me and that makes things that are already hard even worse.”
This is from a quote in the video she released a day after the book announcement. It’s a warped view of self-awareness. While I agree that we cannot let others’ opinions dictate how we feel about ourselves, it depends on the scale.
This is not just petty judgment being lodged at her. This is a critique of how she’s treating others. How she’s manipulating others. You cannot claim to be “friends” with your social media presence, tell the masses how to better themselves, and then refuse to hold yourself to a higher standard.
The truth is she doesn’t care that she mislead you. She just cares that you keep handing her your credit card.
Rachel Hollis wants to play the victim.
Here’s the really f*cked up thing. Instead of stepping up and apologizing for framing her marriage and her life in a false narrative, she wants us to feel bad for her because the internet is being mean to her.
But again… these are not random trolls who are mad at her. This is her own fan base. These are the stay-at-home moms and the working moms and the young women who are trying to set big goals for themselves.
She alienated her audience, and now she wants what’s left of it to feel bad for her.
“When I happen to see something that feels like vitriol, that feels like I can’t believe another woman is saying this about another woman, when I happen to see that, I want to stop and feel gratitude. I never ever want to be the kind of person who would devote time to trying to destroy another person.”
This quote is from a video she posted last week called, “People Pleasing + Responding to Criticism.”
I do believe that she is getting horrible comments on Instagram. I do know that there are trolls out to get her. But does a post like this one count as vitriol? Does my voice, the voice of a once-fan, the voice she claims as a “friend,” count in her mind as one that can be dismissed?
It blows my mind that she could genuinely believe that all criticism of her is unwarranted. The plagiarism claims. The silence in response to the BLM movement.
If you’re going to put your life out there, you have to know that there will be judgment. And yes, you actually have to pay attention to it. Yes, you actually have to hold yourself to the bar that you built for yourself.
Rachel Hollis is ready to take your money again.
Did we really think she was going to suddenly stop pumping out content? Of course not!
Here’s what she has on task (that we know of) already:
- A new book launching in September called “Didn’t See That Coming.”
- A new virtual health conference, Rise Live, also in September
- A new name for her business called, “Achre,” with a tagline of “Create the Life You Want”
- A new app that just launched called the Rise App
To recap, Ms. Rachel Hollis took our money with relationship advice that was flawed at best while her own marriage was deteriorating, never apologized for it, and is now rushing to pump out content so fast that we may just forget everything else that happened.
I mean… she announced a book that features information about her divorce only a month after telling everyone she was getting a divorce? How could she possibly argue the ickiness of this?
Initially, we were told that Rachel and Dave are still “best friends” and are going to stay in business together and make everything work. That seems to be falling apart, too.
She’s stepping away from the Hollis name.
Dave has commented that he is moving away from the business and could be starting a company of his own. The world that they built together and sold to us is falling apart and we’re not getting any straight answers here.
Rachel Hollis has done good things, but do we care?
Let me do what Rachel Hollis cannot: be vulnerable.
I’m having a hard time letting go of Rachel Hollis.
I love the Start Today practice. It’s part of what got me to start producing on Medium in the first place. I love Five to Thrive as well. Her approach to fitness is something I found to be less intimidating and more achievable than some.
I like her personality. I like that she stepped into a male-dominated space and made a name for herself. I like watching her videos and getting a dose of motivation in the morning.
But here’s the thing: she’s very problematic and she’s not sorry about it.
She takes other people’s ideas as her own. She doesn’t practice what she preaches. And it’s going to be hard to trust her again.
I’m tempted to pre-order her new book. I’m tempted to keep checking her Instagram for new videos. It’s hard to let go of a role model.
But I’ll do it. I am not going to spend my money on someone who is not being a good representative of it. I am not going to feed a machine that is going to continue to produce manipulative content. There are way too many more genuine people in the world.
And you know what? She’ll continue to be successful. She’ll continue to make money. Because she’s worked to make sure that she is too big to fail.
If you’re like me, and you are having trouble letting go, let me encourage you to do so. We need to be smart with our money. We need to support the work we want to see in the world.
It’s okay to be mad at Rachel Hollis. You’re not the only one.