Deceptively Little
Nothing brings me more joy than the first sip of a warm cup of coffee, early in the morning. I often celebrate major milestones but I can’t seem to recall the last time I appreciated the joy that that first sip brings me. If I’m having a bad day, I cry over the day I spoilt but I don’t celebrate the day I survived. To be honest, even on my good days, say, my birthday, it’s my friend’s pathetic laugh that actually makes me smile the brightest and not the endless wishes.
I often hear people say, “It’s the little things in life that really matter”, but I don’t see them finding happiness in a perfect melody or a well written song. If I think about what made me content yesterday, the list would be pretty simple. Sleeping in after my alarm went off. Walking barefoot on grass. A two hour long nap with the perfect air conditioning. Stealing my sister’s dress to wear it out. Cuddling with my dog. Hot shower after a tiring day.
Before going to bed, I didn’t smile over the presentation I had nailed but over the conversations I had after it. The compliments are what stayed with me. I thought about the warm hug which made me feel loved. The cheese pizza that I had whined about having too many calories. The inside jokes that made me laugh breathlessly. The peaceful bike ride and how the wind ran through my hair.
Generally, you don’t remember the more conventionally important things but all those little things. Yet, as soon as you achieve a target, instead of patting yourself on the back for those little wins, you say to yourself, “Hey, I could have done this in two days instead of four, let me try harder”. As important as it is to motivate yourself to do better, it’s equally harming to not congratulate yourself. We dismiss our achievements almost immediately. We strive to do better at the cost of never celebrating our little steps along the way.
Learn to separate success from happiness. Ever wake up to the coziest weather in the morning? That’s happiness. Ever get out of bed in spite of the coziest weather? That’s success. Success and happiness are not mutually dependent.
Quoting one of my favourite shows,“ Happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent”. You have got to stop waiting for someone to love you or for that perfect job, to be happy. Don’t wait for happiness, it doesn’t ‘arrive’, it’s a journey.
Rather, live for the midnight rain, the perfect ending to a show (cue to breaking bad), a long chat with an old friend or a 5 am sunrise. Enjoy those little things.
That way, you’d find happiness way more often.
