Awareness

A Poem

Found on Pinterest. Could not locate the artist.

If I knew, I wouldn’t have fallen for you.
I would have kept myself stabilized and fine, as it seemed to be.
Because love is like abruptly lacking something essential.
As if oxygen was suddenly composed of more than it is
And every breath now is shallow, like slowly drowning.

If I had any idea I’d be so hungry for more of you
And how insatiable it would be to feed on the crumbles of our
Interactions, I would have stopped myself.
I would pretend not to know you were around and would satisfy
On the things I already knew the taste of. Because you taste sweet
And grounding as only brief things do.

If only someone told me I’d be feeling lost in familiar ways,
I would have left you behind and focused on my journey.
Because now every alley and every corner becomes a beacon of hope
That you’ll appear, that we will bump into each other on the street
And life will be magical as a romantic comedy.
We’d run into a cafe to hide from the rain, laughing and never bothered
By our soaking shoes and aching feet.

If I was aware of how you were stitching yourself onto me,
How your hair was strangling my veins, how your teeth were chewing
On my sore muscles, I wouldn’t have taken so many painkillers.
I’d recognize your acute pain and allow the doctors to remove you,
Instead of smiling through my own demise, repeating over and over
That you were not the one to blame.

Giulia Listo

Brazilian poet daring to write beyond my own bell jar.

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