Teaching my children they have the Power to Make a Difference
“There’s no other way to test a man, to learn the true temper of his heart and mind, than by seeing him practice the use of power” Sophocles Antigone
It is odd the things that stick with you through your life. I think that I learnt this quote aged fifteen (which was a VERY long time ago). Whilst I often cannot remember where I put my purse or what I had for dinner yesterday, there it still is; easily recalled, often popping back to the forefront of my mind.
Perhaps I remember it because it has always reminded me that what I say and do and the choices that I make reveals to the world who I really am?
We all wield power on a daily basis. As a mother to two small children I exercise almost complete power over their world. I decide what they eat and have the power to make them sit at the table until they finish it. I have the power to tell them how to behave and to make them say sorry; the power to turn off the TV; the power to say “no”; and perhaps more importantly, the power to say “yes”. I have the power to give or withhold. I have the power to teach and to shape how they see the world. I try (through some days with questionable success) to use this power fairly and in ways that are understandable to them.
As they grow up, that power will be wrestled away from me by their growing independence. The day will come when the crown has passed and the power is all theirs. I can only hope that in seeing me trying to exercise power fairly and for their good (though I’m sure during the teenage years they will not see it like this); they will grow in to adults who understand the power they possess and employ it respectfully in their dealings with others.
I also hope to help my children understand that they occupy a place of privilege in the world. They are not hungry and are properly clothed. They are lucky enough to have access to education, libraries, theatres, playgrounds, sports and nature. They are safe, loved and supported. Many children grow up without any of this.
Through my choices and through guiding theirs, I try to show my children that with privilege comes not only power but also responsibility. At this stage it is the simply things like the power to re-cycle or to think about where their food comes from and who might have grown it. I encourage them to give their unused toys to children who have less than they do and to pick up and return a bag dropped by an elderly person who is struggling to bend to retrieve it. These small gestures show my children that, even though they are small, they can use their power in the world for the better and can help others. As they grow and as their power in the world grows so too will the impact they can have upon it.
I hope that when my children, all grown-up, come to “practice the use of power” for themselves they will do so in ways that show their hearts to be kind and generous and their minds to be open. I hope that where they have the power to help others, they choose to do so. I hope that when they have the power to give, they say ‘yes’. I hope that if it is in their power to support, they extend their hand without hesitation. I hope that when they have the power to make a difference, they accept the challenge.
And, secretly, I hope they remember to practice their power nicely when choosing my nursing home!
Lucy-Ann Dale
