The Switch
Collegiate Soccer Player’s Life Influenced by Dad’s Marine Corps History
By Britney Monteon | Marketing Major
Beirut, Lebanon, 1983. A multi-national peacekeeping mission. My dad, Loren Monteon was the head member of the mission and was representing the United States Marine Corps. They were in Lebanon trying to settle some disputes overseas and bring peace to the countries involved in the Lebanese Civil War. They were in their bunker one night and all of a sudden, “Boom! Boom! Boom!” Their barracks were being blown up, and things were no longer peaceful in Beirut.
My dad was seventeen years old when he decided that he wanted to serve the United States and be apart of the Marine Corps. It wasn’t long before he was enlisted, packing up his things, and going to training out in California to learn from the best.
It was a set of grueling tasks in order to be apart of the Marine Corps. My dad has his own stories that included driving their Amtrak through the freezing water and landing on a beach in the Aleutian Islands just before hitting hypothermia, or a 25 mile hike at Camp Pendleton in California with all of their gear for boot camp. But, according to marines.com, you have to pass a series of other basic tests as well which includes, “pull ups, crunches, a timed run, a shooting exam, an ammunition lift test, and a sprint test.” These were all basic things but my dad naturally, wanted to excel. He always strived for more. He strived to be the best. My dad had his scuba diving license, his Amtrak tank operating license, and many more because he was driven to be the best soldier for our country and provide the most that he could to help protect it.
Wanting to be in active duty is something terrifying in itself. In the war that my dad was in, there were 241 people in active combat (CNN Library, par 1). Through loss and hardships during this barrack war, my dad lost many of his close friends. Being an eighteen to nineteen year old and being able to have mental toughness to not get too emotional, or let your guard down is something that may seem harsh, but truly shaped his character for the rest of his life. Having a strong and clear mind is one of his best qualities my dad possesses. My dad has always been the strong person and stable ground in my life and I directly credit and correlate it to his experience and upbringing in the Marine Corps.
It was in this same peacekeeping mission that my dad also had the shock of his life. He said, “We were climbing a mountain with a full pack and weapon at mid day in the sun, I was a squad leader so I had to carry any extra gear that one of my squad couldn’t handle to make it easier for them to finish. If anyone in my squad fell out or couldn’t finish it was on me. I wouldn’t fail. It didn’t’ happen, we always finished.” But one day in particular with the sun beating down on them, my dad was carrying some extra weight and they went over a pass, and my dad felt some pressure in his lower abdomen. He looked down and blood started accumulating all over his shirt. He had just been shot, twice.
Shocked. My dad knew he had to keep moving. He had to get his squad to safety, and then find help.
Thankfully, that’s exactly what he did. Even while carrying the extra gear.
My dad has two Purple Heart’s now and was a recipient of that and also a Navy Achievement medal for this mission. He got everyone back to base safely and like I mentioned, carried all the gear back to safety as well before seeking medical attention for himself. He was a survivor. This kind of determination and mental toughness is exactly the kind of values he instilled in me growing up and I directly correlate that to being apart of the Marine Corps.
My dad ended up putting in over 43,000 hours to the Marine Corps and I connect that directly to Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule. My dad became an expert in his field and was able to lead and teach others the important values of being a Marine because of the time that he put into his career. Being with the Marines day in and day out instilled the core values of trust, faithfulness, overcoming obstacles, and hard work. He is truly the reason that I am where I am today and why I’ve had so much success. Although other people put in just as much time as him, or maybe even more, my dad also had desirable difficulties, and he owned the opportunity of authority to step up and represent other men for our country. That’s beyond anything I’ll ever accomplish.
Fast-forward 25–30 years, I was fifteen years old pursuing my dreams to be a Division 1 soccer play in Denver, Colorado. Being a fifteen year old and getting to travel the country, play soccer, and be with my best friends 5–6 days a week was a privilege. A privilege I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for my parents, but especially my dad. He invested hours upon hours into my soccer career whether it was driving to and from tournaments, monetarily supporting me, or getting on me when I needed it, he was always there.
This particular weekend, we were playing in Denver for the national championship at high elevation. It was about 95 degrees outside and our third game of the day. I was running down the field and turned to snag the ball from Colorado Rush’s outside defender.
I took a hard cut on my right leg, and I heard a pop.
I always cut hard, I always run hard. But this time it was different.
I felt an immediate pain shoot up my leg; it felt like my leg was on fire. As I lay there, I remember turning my head and seeing the University of Minnesota coach pick up her chair, and leave. My whole future was about to change.
I remember a time when we were playing in Indianapolis on a Sunday afternoon and our game didn’t get done until about 3 o’clock. It was my 4 friends and I along with my dad and another soccer dad. Another full car for a soccer tournament, nothing new. We left straight from the game and didn’t even end up taking off our cleats or shin guards before getting in and taking off for home. My best friend, Payton, decided it’d be a good idea to take her stuff off without giving anybody any warning. But let me tell you what, women’s soccer gear is the worst smelling sports equipment out there, no doubt. She takes off her stuff and it smells up the whole car.
We’re only about an hour into this drive and all of us are already shaken by how bad this smell was. Then all of a sudden my dad yells, “Just pull over!” So Harold, the other dad who was driving the car, pulled over and my dad just got out of the car and went into the ditch right by the car. He couldn’t take the smell. I remember us girls in the back were crying laughing. We obviously know how bad our stuff smells after a game or practice but the fact that we had about 13 hours left of this drive and my dad already needed a breather really made us laugh, and eventually he joined in and laughed with us. He just needed a breather and after about 5 minutes we were back on the road. That’s how I always remember him or envision him, laughing.
After blowing out my knee, I lost nine Division 1 scholarships. Every single school I called told me the same thing, “We’re very sorry to hear that, but because your graduating class is committing, we’re going to need to rescind our offer and talk about it when you’re back playing again.”
But the one that hit me the hardest was the University of Minnesota. Having travelled the country by the time I was sixteen was amazing, but it also revealed to me that I was a homebody. I loved being around my family and being in Minnesota. With the women’s soccer team at the U of M becoming better and better every year, I set my sights on them. Nothing was getting in my way. I ended up talking to the coach and she started showing up at my games, regularly. I wanted to be a Gopher. There was this time that I called my dad at work and I said, “I have a visit at the U!” I remember he said, “Don’t you want to get out of here? Out of the snow?”
I had received some contact from schools like Miami, UC San Diego, and Southern Carolina. I never really took them seriously. I didn’t think it was realistic for a girl from small town Minnesota to go play Division 1 soccer at a high caliber university, even though it was what I had wanted my whole life.
That’s exactly how our relationship was though, the things I didn’t think could be realistic for me was what my dad saw as the normality. That’s exactly how it always went; he always wanted more for me. Things that weren’t typical of a Minnesotan girl, he wanted me to have. A lifestyle in warm weather and the beach while pursuing a prestigious degree and playing college soccer. That’s what his goal was for me. But honestly, I just wanted to be around my family and play in front of them on a field and for a university I stood behind, and that was always the University of Minnesota.
After calling the U of M coach and letting her know that I would be out for a while with surgery and rehab, she pulled my scholarship. After a year of communication, visits, dinners, etc. It was all gone.
I had one scholarship left, and it was the first offer and full ride I ever received. It was to North Dakota State University.
After reaching out to the coaches at NDSU, I set up a visit to go and see the campus, the team, and the school. I loved it right away. I remember pulling into campus during the fall of my junior year. I was fresh off of my surgery, but the leaves and the way the campus felt made me take my focus off the pain for a while, and realize how good I still had it. A school still wanted me. It made me be thankful for the injury and all that I learned from it. The fallouts that I had with other schools. The whole surgical process. The painful recovery. When I pulled into NDSU, it all finally seemed like the struggle, and the work I had put in to be where I wanted to be, all the time and money, was worth it.
My first year at NDSU was a successful one. I was dating a football player, studying pre-dental, and the only freshman starter for a Division 1 soccer program. I was Rookie of The Year for my conference and Rookie of the Year amongst all women’s sports at North Dakota State. After coming off of a knee surgery, completing rehab, and beating the odds put against me I achieved these things. Sounds like the life huh? It was far from.
I was bullied as soon as I starter performing well at NDSU. I took upperclassmen spots on the field. I was made fun of. I was singled out. Because of my success as a freshman. Because of my independence. Because of my drive. Because of my determination. Being able to come in and make an impact that an upperclassman couldn’t make, creates a target on your back.
All the things that my dad instilled in me I was making apparent, and it was creating opportunities for me not only on the field, but in the classroom as well. But why was I being bullied and punished for being successful? Weren’t my teammates supposed to support me and be happy for me? There were days where I purposely wanted to play bad just so I wouldn’t get looked at weird or cut down. I remember one Christmas party as a team and an upperclassman said something mean to me. I decided it was best for me to go home and leave and after I left, my friend asked her why she was mean to me and she said, “Because I can be.” From this point on, I just kept to myself and my two close friends on the team. I took my focus off of making friendships, and took it to the classroom and my studies. I had to put my drive and effort somewhere other than into this team.
Being bullied and cut down daily really takes a toll on someone, and I got to the point where I’d had enough. I went through this for two years without saying anything to anyone, and that’s a choice I regret still today. I contribute this to my dad though. He wasn’t a quitter. In his mission in Beirut, he was shot twice and still finished his mission. It may seem dramatic but the values of just never stopping and continuing on are exactly what I was acting on for two years. I wasn’t born a quitter.
After my sophomore season, I didn’t have high expectations going into my junior year. I didn’t have much motivation at all. My mind was almost completely turned off to soccer. I got to the point where I truly didn’t even care if I played anymore. How sad is that? Going from a determined, hard working starter who loved the game to someone who was just going through the motions to get her school paid for?
I wanted to quit.
I wanted to quit so many times. Not only were a majority of my teammates bullies, but my coach was too. It went on for months and months of him just cutting girls down, being hurtful, not helping us to find our worth outside of soccer, pitting us against each other on and off the field, being toxic to us and the program as a whole. I had to get out of there.
When I told my friends I wanted to transfer and leave they all really brushed it off. I had said it multiple times leading up to my junior year, but I had really had enough. I hated soccer. I didn’t enjoy the people. The only thing keeping me motivated was the free college and not having to pay tuition. But soon, that wasn’t even enough to keep myself from thinking about leaving. The only issue I had was that I thought my parents would be disappointed that I didn’t want my scholarship anymore. At first, they were. But as I told them about the boredom, dullness, and complacency I felt I had found at NDSU, along with a hatred for the game of soccer, they were in full support of me finding a new program to be apart of.
These thoughts died out as I started getting closer to the end of my Junior season and I mentally just told myself I’d tough it out for my parents. They’d put thousands of dollars into my soccer career already; I decided that I wasn’t going to burden them with college tuition money as well.
It was October of 2017; I was sitting in my living room in Fargo, North Dakota. I was eating Ramen and watching the bachelor with my roommate Bailey when I get a text from my dad that reads, “I haven’t been totally honest with you.”
My heart fell into my stomach and it felt like everything around me, stopped.
My dad tells me that he went in for his regular check-up and they found some abnormalities on the skin of his right leg. I tried to stay positive, and I really didn’t think it was anything serious. About a week later, he sent me a picture of his leg and told me it was spreading. He knew he was going to have to go and get whatever it was, removed.
He had a piece of his skin removed to be tested and after the he got the results back, the text he sent me was,
“They got my results back and they aren’t good.”
Melanoma is, “the most dangerous form of skin cancer” (SkinCancer.org). Skin cancer is caused when the skin is unprotected from the rays of the sun. When this type of cancer spreads, it can spread to other skin cells, or in my dad’s case, downward into muscle and lymph nodes. Melanoma together kills, “around 9,320 people each year” (SkinCancer.org).
My initial feeling was just shocked. How could something like this happen to him? Happen to someone that I love? My best friend. How? As I was praying about it, another thing I felt was that I knew this was God’s call for me to get out of this environment and go home. I’d been praying about my situation with soccer, the girls, and school for a while but now with this stress in the mix, I still to this day think this was God’s call for me to come home. It was God’s calling for me to come back to Minnesota and pursue a different dream and put other priorities, like my family and Him, first.
First things first, I had to ask for my release from my coaching staff and the Athletic Director. I was terrified days leading up to this just because I figured my coaches probably wouldn’t grant me my release, but I had to do what was best for me at the time. Walking into the office of my coaches, I was dreading talking to my head coach just due to the fact that we really didn’t get along. He was a very short fused and disrespectful coach, so to come in and tell him that one of his starting forwards was leaving, wasn’t going to be easy.
But it turned out, the head coach resigned early in the morning the day I was going to ask for my release. Everything was working out in my favor. I now knew without a doubt that this was the plan God had for me.
I went straight to the Athletic Director.
Matt Larsen was a great AD. He constantly was at our games, talking to us after games, and he posed as a really great representation of how I wish all of the NDSU coaching and athletics department was.
My release was granted after an extensive conversation with Matt and the other members of the Athletic department. All I had to do was turn in my gear, leave the building, and I was done.
So there I was, walking out of the Scheels Athletic complex. I remember when I was walking out, I turned around and almost wanted to walk back inside and take it all back. I was torn but kept walking towards my car.
I got in my white Honda CR-V and drove away. Little did I know, this was going to be the best decision I would ever make.
Fast forward to December 2018. My dad’s surgery to remove his cancer was successful. He had almost the entire top of his right thigh and quadricep removed. This included skin, muscle, and lymph nodes that the cancer had spread to. But after extensive surgery and recovery, he is cancer free.
My biggest reminder through this all was just to trust God. I know that there are other athletes out there in the same position as me.
Scared. Stressed. Alone.
There were nights where I was scared to change my life, scared to make a change. I was also terrified of what was going to happen with my dad, and all the unknowns that came along with that. Life has a crazy way of happening, but trusting God and putting my faith in Him gave me the strength to know that everything would work out the way that it was supposed to.
Because I trusted God and His plan for me, I transferred to the school of my dreams in St. Paul, Minnesota. Bethel University allowed me to expand my personal life and professional life in different ways. Since I’ve chosen to let God guide my life, I’ve completed multiple internships in my desired field of marketing. I’m looking to complete another one in the spring of 2019 in sports marketing. Going from defining myself as a soccer player, to instead defining myself as a child of God, a marketing professional, and then an All-American soccer player is something I truly didn’t know would be possible until I made the changes that were necessary in my life. Being able to give my time to my faith, my education, the sport I love, and my family is something I‘ve found a sincere appreciation for.
When I think about my dad, I always envision him laughing. There was a soccer game that I played in my senior season at Bethel University against St. Kate’s. I had the best game of my entire collegiate career. I had 2 assists and 2 goals and won MIAC Conference Player of the Week from my performance. I remember my free kick to make the lead 3–0, and as I looked over on the sideline there he was, laughing.
I’m forever grateful that he got to watch me play my senior year of college soccer, since it was the one thing we both fell in love with together. Soccer created our special bond and made our friendship more prominent than any friendship in my life. For that, I’m thankful for the Marine Corps for instilling values of drive, determination, and hard work into my dad so that he could push me to where I am today. I’m also forever thankful for the game of soccer, for giving us the opportunity to create the special bond that both these allowed me to create with my best friend.
Works Cited
Skin Cancer Foundation. “Types of Melanoma.” Genentech, A Member of the Roche Group, 2018, https://skincancer.org. Accessed December 9, 2018.
Ammon, Stephen. “Marines Per Year.” Quora Publishing, August 31, 2015, https://quora.com. Accessed December 9, 2018.
O’Brien, Sarah. “Spreading to Lymph Nodes.” Health Union, LLC, 2017, https://skincancer.net. Accessed December 9, 2018.
CNN Library. “Beirut Marine Barracks Bombing Fast Facts.” CNN, 2018, https://www.cnn.com. Accessed December 9, 2018.
About the author: BRITNEY MONTEON
Britney Monteon, a senior marketing major from Blaine, Minnesota, seeks a job in sports marketing upon graduation in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Monteon enjoys online shopping with a negative account balance, extra rice at Chipotle, and operating her blog pages at Starbucks.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED
People will doubt you, your abilities, and situations that aren’t ideal. It’s those people and those situations that inspire you and push yourself to be your best.
Everybody needs somebody.
Being a senior in a freshman writing class taught me that there’s always room for growth in not only my education, but also my personal life.
Staying up until 4 a.m. and not finishing a paper is the worst thing about college.
One minute speeches in Inquiry Seminar class on a Friday are less than ideal.
Putting effort into getting to know people helps you grow and learn more about yourself as well. Truly taking time to be genuine in caring about others benefits everyone involved.
The smell of Chipotle doesn’t sit well in a confined space, like a classroom.
You can’t ever judge a book by its cover, no pun intended.
Goals and dreams can give you inspiration and something to work towards, but life doesn’t always turn out how you plan it. Being able to go with the flow and have a somewhat go with the flow energy is the best way to live.
Trusting God gives you the ability to be at peace with your life and those around you. Being a light for Jesus is what everybody needs.
Being a Marine is terrifying. I already figured it wouldn’t be the most exhilarating from conversations with my dad, but after having him explain things in detail, I truly understanding all that they go through and all that they do to protect us and this country every day.
The fight against cancer needs to be more active. Over 600,000 people are affected by some type of cancer every single year and nearly 1/3 of people do not survive.
There are heroes all around us. Whether it’s a teacher, a doctor, a parent, a best friend. There’s a hero in us all.
It was a Tuesday morning at 5:30 a.m. and I just finished packing up my white Honda CR-V. I got in my car and started down the snow covered roads towards I-94. I was driving home from Fargo, North Dakota, for good. My life was going to be completely different, and for some reason, I wasn’t scared at all.
(Editor’s note: This paper was written as part of a GES160 Inquiry Seminar class at Bethel University in St. Paul, Minn.)
