The Fascinating World of Dungeon Slugs

Glig 14:3

Giant acidic dungeon slugs can be found in three distinct sub-species: the spotted yellow, the yellow-spotted, and the crazed hellspawnic.

The docile and reclusive spotted yellow dungeon slug has yellow skin with green spots, 11 hitpoints, a non-lethal push attack, and survives mostly on ground water. The acidic mucus produced by its sunshine-colored hide is numbing and pleasant, sometimes harvested by both healers and beauticians to be used in luxurious and costly skin treatments.

The gentle, industrious yellow-spotted dungeon slug is green with yellow spots, and has been fully domesticated for the last two millennia. It has 34 hitpoints, no attacks, and survives on lichen, molds, poisonous insects, and everything else that grows on the dungeon walls it has been tasked to keep clean. It is social, slow-moving, and the acid it produces, while having no effect on organic matter, does completely obliterate rust, tarnish and other stubborn mineral buildup.

And finally, there’s the crazed hellspawnic dungeon slug, far and away the rarest and least encountered. They are an anomaly, the four-leaf-cover, the unicorn of the species, documented only a handful of times by the luckiest and most diligent naturalists. They have 90 hitpoints, four different attacks (feelers, slam, bite, venomous ocular autohemorrhage), and survive mostly on meat and screams. The crazed hellspawnic can also use manasynthesis to generate sugars internally, if they are near a supply of magical energy, like a godstone, although this tends to make them more agitated, aggressive, and unpredictable than normal. The acid it produces is highly caustic, highly adhesive, can literally erode self-confidence, and gets worse when it comes in contact with water. Interestingly, crazed hellspawnic dungeon slugs also have green spots, and are sometimes mistaken for spotted yellow dungeon slugs, although anyone who knows anything about dungeon slugs would probably be able to tell by the raised dorsal fringe, bleeding eyes, or 2–5 ton body mass.

But Chael didn’t know anything about dungeon slugs, except that this one was for sure going to eat them.

The masonry shuddered, swelling, the small feeding hatch now crowded and bursting with a salvo of slick, probing feelers, curling around and attempting to pre-digest Chael’s body as the giant slug tried to squeeze all 5 tons of itself through the 10-inch opening. The giant eye, locked on Chael’s, telescoped out on a veiny, pulsing stalk, inching closer, crying toxic blood as a scare tactic, although Chael was only mildly effected.

“GLIG, GET OUT HERE AND PULL OFF MY FINGERNA — !”

“Hey, Captain?” Mahani said, “The acid is coming in faster now, so whatever you did didn’t wor —

“THERE IS A GIANT SLUG EYE,” screamed Chael again.

“What?”

“THERE IS A GIANT SLUG EYE AN INCH FROM MY FACE.”

Chael yanked and twisted their arms, but each time they did, the feelers seemed to find a new way to grip them. Chael’s sword rested neatly against the dungeon wall, unaware of the slug situation, and everything else, because it was a sword.

“Chael. Chael! What kind of slug is it? There are three distinct sub-species!” screamed Mahani or something as Chael struggled to not be externally digested.

Desperately, Chael kicked at the slug. Their bare foot slapped uselessly against the rubbery flesh. They kicked again. And again. Nothing. Each time, they felt a new kind of slime squish between their toes.

Chael could not imagine anything worse than having to kick a slug with bare feet, but if their was even a chance of hitting a pressure point or bruising a nerve or something, they had to try. Maybe the slug would wince just enough to give Chael a chance to escape. They kicked again. And again. And again. And then Chael’s foot went inside the slug’s body, breaking through a fleshy membrane, a slimy membrane, a fibrous membrane, and finally stopping in a warm area with things squirming and palpitating around it.

Chael looked down to see themselves thigh deep in slug.

Chael and the slug screamed in unison, Chael trying to ignore every terrible sensation from the waste down, the slug flailing and bucking and contracting around Chael’s leg. They heard the sound of stone grinding as tiles fell from the ceiling, mortar crumbled out of the wall, and gallons of acid flooded the hall, spilling from the chamber Mahani and Glig were in.

“What are you doing out there! You’re going to kill us!” yelled Mahani.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” yelled back Chael, “When I accidentally set this horrific monster free from its home in the dungeon walls, then PUT MY BARE LEG INTO ITS BODY, I didn’t realize it would be LOAD BEARING!

The walls fell from around the slug, and the rest of its massive body spilled out into the hall, swelling and stretching and opening to display a giant, awful mouth. A dark convulsing tunnel, lined with layers of sharp bristles, dilating to roughly the exact size of Chael’s body.

“But,” continued Chael, “If the walls are coming down anyway and you two aren’t doing anything, maybe you could KILL THIS THING BEFORE IT SWALLOWS ME! OR EVEN SHORTLY AFTER.”

“Chael. Listen. It’s not going to swallow you, okay? Because I’m going to — ” Mahani paused, probably to avoid a falling rock, or regain her grip on the pedestal she was clinging to. “Because I’m going to walk you through this. Okay, captain?”

“IT’S FOR SURE GOING TO SWALLOW M — “

“Hey!” snapped Mahani, “You need to stop freaking out, and start listening. Okay?”

Chael stared into the mouth.

Okay, Captain?” repeated Mahani.

“Okay.” Chael tried to breathe. “Okay, tell me what to do.”

“Good. Now, first, look for its respiratory pore. It should be near — “

And then the slug swallowed Chael.

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I was so close to including a statblock for these slugs. Oh well. Click the heart if you like what is going on in the world of Glig.