Imagining Him, Series II: At Twilight, Two Boys

Colours swirl around me

In every cardinal direction

Infinite, raging, and furious

In their pursuit of Apollo’s chariot.

One particular young thug

Whispers into the open silence,

Yearning for a woman lost

To the touch of his calloused hands.

He gently wipes away a tear

Gulps, and swallows, determined

To meet dismay with a bruised heart.

I stare across at him, as I have long

Done, pondering whether I wished

Upon a star that stood defective,

Devoid of magic in the dark night.

He meets my gaze, and paces

Toward me, his eyes a profound

Shade of ultramarine, shining

Effusively in the disappearing light.

All my self-assuredness melts away

In an instant as he stands erect

Before my nose, gazing down

At my impassive face.

In a voice that reverberates

Across heavenly domains; a

Sonorous bass, he speaks

“You’ve always wanted this!”

“It’s totally all your fault!”

“You can’t make me gay for you!”

Helios’ horses fade into the distance

His voice echoes in the residual indigo

As stifled tears stream down his face.

My heart cries out in frenzied agony

My face gives way as a choked outburst

Threatens to betray me, and I turn away.

I shiver and stumble away, shaking

More from the sting than the biting cold

Something stirs, and I hurl it his way.

“You think I could ever bring myself to hurt you?”

I exclaim in a high-pitched voice, before adding,

“I’m no wizard, I’ve no magic dust, otherwise

I would’ve used it for my own gain long ago!”

He sinks to his knees, covering his face

With his hands. “Why me?!”

I curl up tightly, like a foetus

Secure in the maternal womb.

Stoicism flees like Surya’s restless persona

The nation envelop’d in a dark halo

That surrounds Gaia in Chandra’s aura

The two of us trying, to make sense of the world.

I open my eyes to the sobering night,

To find him curled up next to me -

A boy with whom I fell, headfirst, in love.

I squeeze my eyes shut, and contemplate that

Here, we bear witness to an emotional outpour,

At twilight, two trembling boys lay perplexed.

April 19, 2016.

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