Imagining Him, Series II: At Twilight, Two Boys
Colours swirl around me
In every cardinal direction
Infinite, raging, and furious
In their pursuit of Apollo’s chariot.
One particular young thug
Whispers into the open silence,
Yearning for a woman lost
To the touch of his calloused hands.
He gently wipes away a tear
Gulps, and swallows, determined
To meet dismay with a bruised heart.
I stare across at him, as I have long
Done, pondering whether I wished
Upon a star that stood defective,
Devoid of magic in the dark night.
He meets my gaze, and paces
Toward me, his eyes a profound
Shade of ultramarine, shining
Effusively in the disappearing light.
All my self-assuredness melts away
In an instant as he stands erect
Before my nose, gazing down
At my impassive face.
In a voice that reverberates
Across heavenly domains; a
Sonorous bass, he speaks
“You’ve always wanted this!”
“It’s totally all your fault!”
“You can’t make me gay for you!”
Helios’ horses fade into the distance
His voice echoes in the residual indigo
As stifled tears stream down his face.
My heart cries out in frenzied agony
My face gives way as a choked outburst
Threatens to betray me, and I turn away.
I shiver and stumble away, shaking
More from the sting than the biting cold
Something stirs, and I hurl it his way.
“You think I could ever bring myself to hurt you?”
I exclaim in a high-pitched voice, before adding,
“I’m no wizard, I’ve no magic dust, otherwise
I would’ve used it for my own gain long ago!”
He sinks to his knees, covering his face
With his hands. “Why me?!”
I curl up tightly, like a foetus
Secure in the maternal womb.
Stoicism flees like Surya’s restless persona
The nation envelop’d in a dark halo
That surrounds Gaia in Chandra’s aura
The two of us trying, to make sense of the world.
I open my eyes to the sobering night,
To find him curled up next to me -
A boy with whom I fell, headfirst, in love.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and contemplate that
Here, we bear witness to an emotional outpour,
At twilight, two trembling boys lay perplexed.
April 19, 2016.