Short note on what being a curator and being a parent have in common
I have had a chance to become the curator of the GS Warsaw Hub twice. The first time was in 2014, when being a Shaper was a very novel experience to me and (mostly in my head) I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I joined in order to initiate and coordinate Mentors4Starters project, which later on became a stand alone foundation functioning well and dynamically growing to this day.
The second time meant entering a familiar ground. Over the years, I had already become friends with most team members, I had already fallen into common curatorship traps and I was well prepared for mitigating even unexpected outcomes of a growing hub and contrasting ambitions of certain Shapers. Having developed an organisation out of one of the projects, I was also way more relaxed regarding planning to grow new initiatives.
Interestingly, if the same approach can be applied to my motherhood it means that looking after my first son is an overachiever’s ultra-ambitious task and bringing up the second one can be compared to a relaxed project ran by a conscious manager with healthy expectations.
Despite the differences for sure there are a few similarities I have already noticed between being a curator and a parent. And I believe they may be useful either for parents who are to become curators, future parents who have experience leading hubs, or anybody who’s planning either.
1. Everybody has their own agenda
Little children cannot articulate their needs and most of the time you have to guess what is happening in their little heads at any particular moment. Of course, eventually you learn their language. And they learn yours. But it takes a lot of time, more than a year. (Oh, and you know what takes exactly a year? Your curatorship. Good luck!)
Similarly, by the time you learn to communicate with everybody and navigate around the projects it will be the time to move on and pass on your title to someone less experienced in the matter. Being a curator is a great privilege and a mission, but it is also a a blind’s man bluff. People have their own agendas, ways of communicating them and expectations. In order to really understand them, it takes more time than you have.
2. The delivery of the final effect is your responsibility… no matter what
When you have little children you tend to be late everywhere, you prone to experience unexpected situations or even get embarrassed in front of people you care about. Thankfully, you can blame the kids and use the magic formula „sorry, whatever the plan is, we need to constantly adjust it to reality”.
Well, it is kind of similar when it comes to being a curator. You have a detailed schedule of the project, but then issues emerge. The number of potential problems coming up does not equal the number of people added up (ex. 6=1+1+1+1+1+1), but rather the number factorial (ex. 6! = 1x2x3x4x5x6=720). Someone will have an emergency at work, someone else at home, or at school, or an unexpected break up. As a result projects get delayed and it takes hell of an effort to get things straight right on the spot. Also, it is very hard to detect bottlenecks as we all tend to blame one another.
Many times you, personally as a curator, will sacrifice your sleep in order to straighten up the case and deliver it on time. It is the same when things get hard at home with your kids — your boss isn’t much interested why you’re late (despite amazing excuses you’re able to provide) — he is annoyed by the fact you are.
Not everything is your fault, but everything is your responsibility.
3. Parenthood and curatorship are sooo tiring.
Everybody would be a great parent if they could get enough sleep. Yeah, pretty much the same with being the head of your hub. There’s never enough time, enough energy and enthusiasm. I suppose, your ideas and plans are fantastic, but most of the time very hard to implement. Yes, if there were more resources, you would really (but really) know how to use them and what to do.
Too bad the universe will most probably see only part of those ambitious plans becoming real.
4. You get to know people really well.
Being a parent and being a curator can be rewarding but also can be overwhelmingly frustrating. Like I-want-to-crucify-everybody-right-now frustrating. However, it is then when you get to know people, their strengths and weaknesses. If you manage to learn to navigate among your people (or your little people) and to cope with such dynamic environment, then you will actually come out of it with some super knowledge.
You know that it is not during the good times when the learning curve spikes. Conflict, pressure and scarcity of resources will show the true colours of those around you. Knowing them well is invaluable and will result in future success. It concerns your offspring too.
5. Both pass very fast.
You celebrate the take over of curatorship, you head to Geneva for the ACM. You get super excited and the fantastic energy is on… until it peters out. Then you spend months putting the plans together, kicking off some projects, then they get delayed (look at point 2), you’re almost there… And then it is over. You pass the curatorship to someone else.
I am on the very start of my journey as a mother, however, I constantly hear that I should cherish those exhausting times of early childhood as much as I can because I will miss them. My „older” one just turned one and I do believe in it.
So, can you see similarities?
Today, I am on the threshold of becoming an alumna of the organisation and looking back I cannot believe how precious and life changing my Shaper experience was. I learnt more about the world, management, conflict mitigation and friendship that I could ever expect. Yet, that’s not all. In the hub I met my partner, father of my children and best friend.
To be honest, six years ago I wasn’t even convinced about joining the Hub. One year ago I wasn’t sure about this whole parenthood thing either. Today, I wish to everyone to have a chance to gain such insights into themselves, because both experiences will provide you with more of them than anything else ever could.
Maria Belka
Global Shapers Warsaw Hub
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www.globalshapers.pl
www.linkedin.com/company/global-shapers-warsaw-hub
