I Was the Best Man in a Chinese Wedding
Giving a relationship the ultimate title by joining together in marriage is a universal tradition. Yet, they do it a little differently in China.
I was lucky enough to be asked to be the best man at my best friend Chen’s wedding this past year, and it was an experience I’ll never forget.
Perhaps one of the biggest differences is how the bride is brought to the wedding. The groom and groomsmen must “steal” her from her family in their hotel room by completing several crazy tasks. It’s truly a one-of-a-kind experience.
So I decided to detail the day of the wedding, the crazy antics, and the amazing experience that was my first Chinese wedding.
The Night Before
Nothing too crazy happens the night before, except for visiting the wedding venue. We helped set up the hall, and it was wonderful. I’ve never quite seen a wedding hall look so regal.
Other than helping set up and rehearsing what we would do as the groomsmen, I went to sleep at 7 PM, as by Shandong tradition, we had a real early morning ahead of us.
The Morning of the Wedding
I woke up in my hotel at 2 AM to get ready. After showering, shaving, and styling what needed to be styled, I made my way to Chen’s at 3 in the morning.
There were around 20 family members outside in the cold January morning making fresh dumplings. They were delicious, filling my empty stomach.
The morning consisted of taking about 5,000 pictures, wearing traditional outfits over our tuxedos, and drinking baijiu with Chen’s dad. Then, we were preparing to “kidnap” the bride from her family.
Early Afternoon: Kidnapping the Bride
We snuck through the ginormous Hilton Yantai, looking for the bride’s room. Let me tell you, we knew when we found it.
About eight uncles and aunties camped in front of the door, all with their phones on the ground. Their scannable wallet QR codes were open on their phones, and Chen had to transfer money to each of them.
You may be asking, how much money? Well, there wasn’t a definite amount, just until they were happy.
I gave up my three earrings to one of the aunties to try and bail Chen out. I have no idea what she ever did with them.
After bribing the family members, we were welcomed inside with a mat of Lego and balloons. We had to pop the balloons by jumping on them. The trick was that the bridesmaids would pull them out from under us, having our land on the Lego with full force. Afterward, we had to do 20 squats with the bridesmaids in our arms on top of the Lego.
After the Lego from hell, we were forced to drink full cups of Pepsi with salt, an ungodly amount of soy sauce, wasabi, and oyster sauce. Two of us threw up instantly.
Next was one of the most important traditions in a Chinese wedding, finding the bride’s shoes. The women will hide the two shoes in the room, and we can’t leave until the groomsmen find them. One was in the full trash can at the bottom, and the other was hidden behind the television.
For those who haven’t been to China, there’s a big stereotype that the older generation loves to put the heat on full force in their houses. Chen and us groomsmen had tuxedos on with full traditional robing on top inside a small hotel room blasting the heater at 28 degrees celsius for three hours with at least thirty people inside. It was hell.
After those three hours, we finally completed all their tasks, received red envelopes from the bride’s parents (hong bao 红包）, which held some gift money and made our way to 5,000 more pictures.
After finishing many photos and enjoying each other’s company, the time for the actual ceremony was quickly approaching. But first, we returned to Chen’s house for a wonderful procession I’d never seen before.
We were greeted by his family using confetti shooters, along with an entire drum troop playing in sync with one another. Chen carried her up to the house for any last-minute preparations, then it was time to go to the ceremony.
The Wedding Ceremony
There was no jumping on Lego, drinking soy sauce Pepsi, or finding shoes in trash cans when it came to the ceremony. Although the day was filled with chaos and new experiences, the ceremony returned me from the anarchy.
Seeing one of my best friends in the whole world marry the love of his life was something I would have never missed. Not only that, but I was lucky enough to be his best man. Watching the ceremony, another groomsman Jason (from the same college as us), and I bawled our eyes out the whole time.
We drowned our emotions with baijiu as we watched Chen cry like a baby the entire ceremony.
The Takeaway
Ultimately this experience was the best wedding in my life. It was not only my first Chinese wedding, but my first wedding being a best man or groomsman.
It was such a special experience to see how other cultures celebrate love and the traditions that follow it. Experiences like this are why I left the United States to pursue the life of an expat. These are memories I’ll never lose, and that’s so special.
I invite you to share your experiences with how other cultures celebrate weddings in the comments below. I’d love to hear more cool differences and crazy traditions.
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