SPAIN | MONTHLY CHALLENGE | RETURNING

Praying to an Indifferent God on the Camino de Santiago

Can you ever really leave your faith? Can you ever return?

The ornate bell towers and facade of the Cathedral de Santiago de Compostela are burnished by the setting sun. This is the endpoint for pilgrims on the Camino de Santiago, Spain. (Photo: ©Craig K. Collins)

I push open the heavy wooden door at the entrance of the 13th-century Church of the Virgin Mary’s Assumption (Eglise Notre Dame de l’Assomption) in Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port, France, located at the base of the Pyrenees not far from the Spanish border, and take my first step as a pilgrim on the Camino de Santiago.

One step down, I think, only half a million more to go.

Though I’m an avowed atheist now, I was once, many years ago, a devout Catholic — altar boy, church choir, Catholic schoolboy — and know exactly what to do.

I step toward a large stone basin, carved by an artisan nearly a millennium ago, dip a pair of fingers into the holy water, and make the sign of the cross.

Forehead — “In the name of the Father,” — sternum — “the Son,” — left shoulder — “and the Holy” — right shoulder — “Spirit. Amen.”

I stare momentarily at the figure of Jesus on the cross mounted to the great stone wall between the stained glass windows behind the altar.