This is Melbourne, Mate: 8 Surprising Things about This Place
Melbourne at a first glance
What do you think about Melbourne? It is so different from other Australian cities. My in-laws asked the other day.
What do I think?
A month into my stay in Melbourne, I still feel a bit confused and disoriented. So I decided to summarise my first impression.
Slang
Locals address me as if I were a local. So they use slang that I haven’t heard anywhere else.
Get your brekkie at Hungry Jack, mate. (Which is Burger King.)
Or even better — something about cricket or their local football code.
Tigers or Saints? — These are local football teams.
Errr… Are you talking to me?
Yes, bird. — This appeals to a girl or a woman.
Everything else is beyond my understanding.
What wakes you up: trams or trains?
Melbourne has the most extensive public transport system I’ve ever seen. You either use it or you don’t exist.
Locals seem to know all the routes and, as a result, all of Melbourne and its suburbs. If you fail to answer what tram goes to Windsor, you’re definitely not a local. Now I know it's 5, 6, 64 and 78.
The downside of this public transport paradise is that you most likely live either near a tram or train track.
Trams are loud. They don’t run at night, so it is quiet, but they start running around 5 in the morning. Trains are quieter, but there are heaps of overnight trains. Not sure which option is better.
Jokes about Poms
Poms are British (Prisoners of Mother England), and Aussies (Australians) never allow them to forget about it.
Let me introduce my colleague, Jacky. And forgive her that her partner is a Pom.
I believe Aussies like Pommies, and this is their ironic way of showing it.
“European” buildings
This is a very European city. My in-laws insist.
Well, Melbourne has 19th-century buildings, but it’s nothing like Spain, Italy, or Germany. It’s more like the UK, if you still call it Europe.
Wide straight streets, detailed navigation and trams — can’t imagine Valencia or Milano being like this. It reminds me of San Francisco, with its Victorian-era buildings surrounded by skyscrapers.
Vegemite is the weirdest snack ever
It looks like dark chocolate paste, but imagine my surprise when it turned out to taste like… salted thick beer… Yuck. It’s made from leftover brewers’ yeast extract. No idea how to eat a Vegemite sandwich.
Coffee shops for early birds
Melbourne is known for its coffee. There were two things about the coffee shops here that I found disappointing:
- Hand brewed coffee is a rare thing. Baristas told me it’s not popular here, and most people prefer something quick. So far, I’ve been using my home dripper and looking for good single-origin coffee beans.
- I tried to work from there but failed. Most coffee shops in my neighbourhood are full in the morning and close at 2 p.m. As a result, I have to work from a public library nearby.
Remote work is not popular here, and after COVID, local companies look for candidates to work onsite. Add a time zone that makes it difficult to work with the rest of the world. It’s quite challenging to be nomadic in Melbourne and Australia in general.
Reuse as a lifestyle
Everything in this place must be reused. If someone else can still use whatever you no longer require, you donate it. I saw a dozen chairs on the street as a giveaway the other day. I also saw people donating food every Monday night.
I care about people in need, this lifestyle says.
I’ve never seen that many shops selling second-hand clothes, books, furniture and kitchenware. And people of all ages buy this stuff because it’s part of a reusing lifestyle.
I like vintage clothing from the 60s-70s, but all I could find was flashy 90s and 2000s fashion. Even so, because it is cheap, you end up buying a lot more.
Proudly produced in Australia
All the food and cosmetics I buy are made in Australia. Every package literally screams about it. By purchasing local foods, you contribute to the local community. But it doesn’t make it any cheaper.
Support local community
Another reason for not being nomadic is the desire to be a part of something larger. Everyone appears to be a part of the community: in your neighbourhood, a religious one, a student guild, artists or their patrons, drinking wine and admiring works of art.
I also noticed that both Aussies and immigrants work everywhere, which is different from the US, where most waiters and cleaners are immigrants.
I have no idea which communities I belong to, so I will just continue travelling. Next time, I’ll show you wonderful local street art.
In the meantime, I’m ready to set foot in Perth and hopefully meet some quokkas.
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