Why I Won’t Stop Writing About My Vagina
Haven’t you got better things to write about?
I’ve been blogging publicly for almost 7 years and in that time I’ve written about everything from fashion to one night stands and from makeup to my own sexuality. I try to juxtapose between my life and the things I’m passionate about, but its only recently that I’ve began writing about my own reproductive system. I’m not new to online criticism and trolling, when I first started blogging I was repeatedly told to kill myself- and this was over a fashion blog. But by far the worst of my hatred I’ve received online has come from talking about my vagina and feminism.
It’s gotten to the point where I know that every time I tweet or write something about periods, vagina, feminism or abuse I will receive awful ignorant responses. These have included but not limited to
- every synonym for the words ugly, slut, stupid, liar, lesbian and man hater out there
- A print out of my then profile picture which someone had jerked off onto, ironically with the caption “this is what ugly feminazi bitches need”.
- “get raped”
- being told to shut up about my -insert vulgar word for vagina here-
- patronising remarks
- my personal email and facebook accounts shared
- *posts something political* “go back to writing about your cunt”
I originally started writing this about the reactions to just my writing at AMAMU, but the truth is its all the same tired old script that most female identifying feminists have to tackle on a regular basis. I’ve been keeping track and over the past fortnight not a day has gone by without a man on Twitter tell me I’m wrong. When I published my last piece here I was asked the riveting question of “are you going to write about the next time you take a shit”. Aside from the hours of fun me and my friends had this this particular gent, I also couldn’t understand how the two compared in any way. But then I don’t consider bleeding for 5 days and the constant hormonal turmoil of menstruating to be just another disgusting bodily function.
Possibly the greatest reply I have ever had in response to my work though came a few days ago:
The thing I loved the most about this interaction was that although this man wanted to degrade and intimidate me he couldn’t even bring himself to write the word “cunt”, but I could talk about this subject all day (and I have).
When I blogged in my early 20s I shyed away from “controversial” issues, such as sexual health, for fear of the inevitable backlash I would receive. Nowadays I strive to be part of the discussion, challenge views and absorb as much information on everything surrounding it. It absolutely baffles me that we are a culture that laughs at dick jokes but aims to silence women for discussing periods and our own menstrual cycles.
I included feminism above because I am repeatedly told by men that for starting an honest dialogue about my issues with sexual and reproductive health that I am, disgusting “an ugly egotistical feminist who doesn’t see the bigger issues”. That somehow I am leading women astray into the demonic world of feminism by contributing to an environment where women can find out more information about their own bodies, learn what is right for them and most importantly feel comfortable enough to ask questions.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the outpouring of support I receive from my community, the incredible folk I see every day never stopping talking and the amazing ways that we strive to help others. The majority of spaces I inhabit both on and offline are female identifying and non binary spaces and it’s through those places that I’ve learnt to accept who I am and all my health problems and grown comfortable enough to discuss them openly.
All I ever strive to do in my writing is to share my experiences in the hopes that I can educate and help others. In a time when women are silenced and told that their own bodies are disgusting while governments (mostly controlled by men) take away our reproductive rights, it is a revolutionary act to be happy and comfortable in our bodies. It’s “controversial” to talk about how we manage menstruation, having sex safely and even monitoring our sexual health.
I only aim to create an open safe dialogue about these issues, but I’m often made to feel like a “slut” who is encouraging women to go and fuck every man they meet. That’s when I remember how dangerous a liberal women with her own mind is. Because I may only be talking about sexual health, birth control, consent and reproductive rights. But that’s everything they want to use against us.
