Assessment Autobiography
Approaching a Year of Inquiry
2nd grade:
Sitting at my desk, I wait for the paper, filled with math facts, to get handed to me — -facts that I need to solve as FAST as I can…or else. Or else, everyone will know. They will know: I am dumb. I count on on my fingers as fast as I can, scribbling down answers, and nervously peeking at my classmates who are almost done. Defeated, the timer rings. Not good enough. Not even close. I know that I can’t move on to the next level of facts until these are mastered.
A simple assessment to show how the class was coming along in their math fact knowledge. A simple assessment repeated over and over and over again throughout the year. A simple message: you are not good enough. Not even close.
Nights spent with flashcards lining my bedroom floor, trying to memorize facts. Rehearsing the facts to my mother before being tucked into bed and wondering: why I’m so terrible at math? Why am I so dumb?
3rd grade:
Ten words each week. These I could memorize easy peazy. A spelling test every Friday to show everyone else. So they will know: I am smart! Visualizing the words and letters in my mind, spelling them out one letter at a time with the neatest d’nealian script possible. Victorious, the last word is spelled. I am good enough and ready to move on to the next level of words because these are mastered.
A simple assessment to show how the class was coming along on their spelling skills. A simple assessment hung all around the room for everyone to see, week and after week throughout the year. A simple message: Are you really good enough? How do you measure up compared to your peers?
12th grade:
AP English: essay writing. Ode to a Grecian Urn. I analyze each line, build sentences into paragraph to defend my ideas. Working my hardest to prove my point. So I will know and he will know: I can do this. I am a good writer. Re-reading, revising and confident.
I wait for my paper to be handed back and to read the scribbles by Mr. Reynolds. So what? and Why? written across the margins. Simple comments but they push me. The letter grade disappearing from my mind and instead I think about how I would answer those questions.
A simple assessment to show the class how we were coming along on our essay writing. A simple assessment repeated over and over through the school year. A simple message: I want to hear more from you.
Reflections:
For most of my life, I BELIEVED that I was “bad at math.” I forced myself to just survive through math class. Any skill or task involving math made me nervous and self-conscious. I never understood why I hadn’t gotten “the good math genes” that my sisters inherited. I came to believe that understanding math was something I just couldn’t do. It wasn’t until I was a teacher supporting students in math class that I realized that this belief about myself was false. It took me most of my life to reframe my inner beliefs about my math skills. I do believe these early experiences in assessment helped to create some very negative thought patterns.
I have always loved reading and writing. It was fun for me until our graded work was hung up around the class for everyone to see. Suddenly, embarrassment, shame and guilt found a way into how I thought of myself as a reader and writer. It was no longer about the enjoyment of the tasks, it was about measuring up to those around me.
The feedback I received in high school writing class was different than anything I’d ever experienced before. It was the first time that I felt truly invested in my work, and the first time I felt the feedback helped me grow. Still to this day, those probing questions pop up when I write, and I believe it has helped me become a better writer over the years.
I think about these experiences with assessment often as a teacher. As I embark on this year of assessment inquiry, my mind is filled with questions sparked by these memories: What can I do as a teacher to make assessment a positive growing experience? How can I make my feedback with students the most helpful for them to grow? What makes feedback good? How do I make assessment a positive, meaningful, and useful interaction with my students? Most importantly, I want my students to see writing assessment positively and not to walk away from my class feeling that they are dumb and that they they just didn’t get the “writing genes.”
This year, I will be focusing exclusively on assessments with writing. We already use the Units of Study for writing (Calkins), and there are some good assessment tools that come with this curriculum; however, I feel I might be able to incorporate them better into my units. I may even need to tweak aspects of them to make them more meaningful to students. In addition, I plan to investigate how I can better use conferencing for writing assessment and feedback with my students. I’m excited to be begin this journey, and I feel an immense responsibility because I know my choices in assessment can effect students for a lifetime.
