Something to Say
When students find their own voices
In “Angel from Montgomery,” John Prine sings, “How the Hell can a person go to work in the morning, come home in the evening and have nothing to say?” Describing the sense of having wasted her life married to the wrong man, a man with nothing to say to her, the woman in the song reminisces about lost opportunities, lost loves, her lost life. She is grieving the absence of conversation in her home. Conversation is more than chatter or talking. It is opening your mind and soul, sharing it with another person…and getting the opportunity to see into that other person.
During this time of COVID-19, conversations have become golden. Reaching out to others through the wonders of technology has helped to make this time of physical separation less separate. Through conversation, we can feel deeply close and together. These conversations can be verbal, talking on the phone or through Google Meets, but it is in writing that I have finally met some of my students. I have a few students who sat in class silently; they often seemed disengaged in class discussions. But since COVID-19, we are communicating in forums and emails now. These students are writing and sharing some of the most heartfelt and amazing things.
I don’t know if these quieter souls just needed more space and time to open up, that the noise and speed of regular class interaction was too intimidating, or the intensity of our current world situation gave them permission to finally share their thoughts and feelings, but it has once again shown me the power of writing. I was introduced to the Greater Madison Writing Project when I participated in the Summer Institute in 2012. To say that it has changed the way that I teach would be an understatement. Through that month at Olbrich Gardens, I found a community of thoughtful, purposeful and passionate teachers. Together, we were immersed in writing, thinking, laughing, crying and grappling with ways to make teaching more authentic. These GMWP connections have lasted and I continue to find inspiration whenever we gather. By writing more with my students, I have learned to not just hear their voices, but to allow my own voice to be heard.
As a young professional, I had tried to be the “teacher.” This persona did not share too deeply for fear of losing control. I worked incredibly hard on lessons, hands-on activities and experiences for my students, but always kept my deeper self shrouded. Writing has a way of breaking through those walls. When I give writing assignments to my students, I write alongside them in the classroom (or online now). I find that really modeling good writing means getting into the depths and it’s hard to hide once you do that. The teacher as writer cannot just be the “teacher,” honest writing makes the writer real.
Those quieter students, who had written fairly shallow pieces before the pandemic, and who held back from talking in class, may not have felt safe enough to honestly share the depths that were there. As a teacher, I cannot assume that because a student hasn’t shown me much, that there isn’t much there. Classrooms are complex ecosystems, each group is unique. As the Advanced Learning Teacher in three different elementary schools, I see nearly 200 students every week in grades k-5. These small group meetings usually last ½ hour, some groups meet twice a week. Even before this time of teaching remotely, I recognized that my job was sort of like drive by shooting — very fast-paced, shooting out lots of ideas and not knowing if any of them actually hit their marks.
During our time of social distancing, I set up Google Docs for each of my grade levels in each school for kids to share their thoughts about learning at home, not being at school and what was happening in their worlds and the wider world. Before this, we had written and shared in class. This was the first time that I gave them a place to write in their own time and without the distractions of their classmates. Many of my students are not taking advantage of these platforms, but I have been surprised at some of the students who have thrived. They were only quiet on the outside, inside there were lots of thoughts that needed a quieter, more nurturing space than the classroom to blossom.
Writing can be scary. If the writer is honest, it makes them vulnerable and opens each person’s inner world and imagination to the judgment of others. Although I had worked hard to create kind classrooms, there were still students who did not feel safe. It is ironic that they found that safety in the midst of a pandemic, but it has taught me something. Even when we return to classroom teaching, I will continue to provide this alternative, informal way of writing and sharing ideas with students. The classroom setting works better for the majority of my students — and they have made that clear to me — but I now know that I need to provide a quiet, separate space for my less chatty students. It is through writing that I discovered more about myself as a teacher and human being. Writing has also given me the privilege to learn more about my students.
The singer ends “Angel from Montgomery” with this plea, “Just give me one thing that I can hold on to, to believe in this livin’ is just a hard way to go.” Life can be hard and it’s even harder when we are alone in our own heads and unable to have real conversations with the people around us. Writing can be one of the most important things that we can hold on to, a way to believe in this living, the life we build and the connections that we make.
Dear GMWP, thank you for giving me the understanding that I can be vulnerable and not hide that I have something to say. And thank you for helping me to learn to wait as my students find their own voices.
