
This I Believe
I believe that the most important job we have as human beings is to connect with one another.
My belief statement has evolved directly from a childhood spent in an alcoholic home. It wasn’t necessarily the alcoholism that impacted me so much as the lack of emotional connection from either of my parents, the indifference of my older siblings, and the competition for love with my younger sister. The proverbial ‘middle child,’ I was, essentially, lost in our family. Whether my belief evolved due to a lack of love in my childhood or due to my ability to distinguish other options, I chose to be a mindful, loving, present parent to my children, a connected friend, and a compassionate professional.
Connecting with my students is especially important to me. I felt incredibly alone as a young child and it was only in school where I truly felt my strengths were acknowledged. The sense I get from many of my students is that they also crave emotional connection in an increasingly fast-paced culture of academic achievement. As a speech-language pathologist, my job is unique in that I am fortunate to spend time in small groups and one-on-one with students.
Colin is one of those students. He’s bright, friendly, kind, polite, self-aware, and shy. But in the classroom he has shut down. Overwhelmed with the way in which his mind works, one that isn’t supported, invigorated, or respected in a classroom setting, he experiences failure on a daily basis. “I can’t do this…”, “I’m overwhelmed…”, “I don’t understand…”, “I need time to process”. These words are not ones that he is able to articulate. Either because he can’t access them or because he doesn’t really know how to put into words what he is even experiencing. We miss out on Colin’s brilliance and authentic contributions when we expect him to learn in ‘traditional’ ways. When we push him to learn in ways that just don’t work for him.
I connect with Colin because I respect him just for who he is. I accept him, unconditionally. If I can meet him where he currently learns, then we can move forward together. A big part of that understanding includes a deep awareness of his strengths and areas of need. That connection is more important, in my eyes, than his ability to do fractions or write an essay or pass a test. While I know academic skills are important, the way Colin feels about himself and his ability to feel confident and safe in the world is infinitely more important than all the rest of it combined. And if he feels good about himself he will learn. He will relish learning. Curiosity and learning are innate. He will become that lifelong learner because he knows that he can.
When we connect with our students, or anyone really, they know it. They feel heard and seen. This gift allows them to grow into the best version of themselves.

