This I Believe: Kindness First

“Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” - Brad Meltzer

Kim Gauen
Kim Gauen
Jul 21, 2017 · 2 min read

My first year as a school counselor I received an email from a teacher that said, “I have one student crawling under the tables, one throwing staples, and a third attached at my hip who will not stop asking questions. I need some help.” That was the beginning of a tough year for those boys as their antics seemed to only escalate despite multiple interventions. Bridges were burned as frustration levels between staff, students, parents, and administration started to cloud the air of optimism.

My second year as a school counselor a student started her sixth year of high school having completed an abysmal two semester long classes the year before. An incredibly kind, funny, conscientious, and intelligent student, it was baffling that despite learning how to effectively manage her school anxiety over the past couple years, she still was unable to finish courses.

My third year as a school counselor, a parent came in the day before school started with his two young children and proceeded to yell at me in the Main Office for over fifteen minutes about his children’s schedules; schedules that we had worked on together and confirmed just the day before, when he still believed they would be a good fit.

These stories are not uncommon in my job or at schools in general, nor are the reasons behind them. The three boys were each dealing with several challenges such as: undiagnosed mental health issues, the passing of a close friend, and the fallout from a nasty divorce, yet none of them had the words to explain that. The student who could not finish school may have overcome her anxiety about being in a school building but still struggled with perfectionism and an intense fear of graduating since that is where she had her best relationships. The parent who yelled in the office was struggling to provide for his family and believed school staff was not listening to him as a result.

We do not get to know everything that a person brings with them when they enter a building. As educators, our job is to serve students, families and each other with kindness and grace. When we take a deep breath so we can listen without judgement, pause before responding out of frustration, understand that there is a function behind every behavior and stop taking negative reactions personally, we can then create the space for learning. This I believe.

GMWP: Greater Madison Writing Project

Teacher as Artist, Teacher as Researcher, Teacher as Writer, Teacher as Teacher of Writing

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Kim Gauen

Written by

Kim Gauen

K-12 School Counselor: 21st Century eSchool/Clark Street Community School/MCPASD

GMWP: Greater Madison Writing Project

Teacher as Artist, Teacher as Researcher, Teacher as Writer, Teacher as Teacher of Writing

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