To My Senior, with Love
Senior year. All the years I’ve spent dreaming about this day. Imagining you in your cap and gown, walking confidently across the stage. Imagining that smile spread across your face as you’re handed your diploma. Imagining sad happy tears streaming down my face. Reminiscing… Playdates and picnics in the park. Happy Meals and Hot Wheels. Frog catching and fishing in the pond turned a muddy mess. So many little boy memories that made being your mommy my favorite job and yet the hardest job in the whole wide world. The one job I would never, ever trade for anything else.
Senior year. Doing my best to be my annoying mom self. Capturing all the special events. Snapping endless pictures. Saving treasured keepsakes. Planning special moments. Doing my best to mask the roller coaster of my emotions. Feeling excited about all you’ve accomplished. Feeling anxious for what lies ahead. Feeling uncertain about what my life will be like after your senior year without your 6’5” presence each and every day. Wasn’t it just yesterday that you wanted me to tuck you in? How long has it been since you needed me to lay next to you in order to fall asleep at night? When did that change? How did that happen? Is graduation really just around the corner?
Senior year. A year filled with lasts. The last first day pictures. The last August rush for school supplies. The last school lunches. The last school release bells. The last requests for signed permission slips. The last parent-teacher conferences. The last field trips. The last band concerts. The last Homecoming parade. The last football halftime show. The last Blues in the Night. The last pep band concert. The last chance at state for Solo and Ensemble. The lasts I never realized I would miss, until they were over and done.
Senior year. Reflecting on the hours spent traveling from gym to gym, watching you play basketball, sharing in your excitement when your team won and focusing on learning moments when they lost. Reflecting on your first trip to summer church camp, worrying about you traveling so far away without me, then relishing in your excitement upon your return as you shared stories about your experience, your new friends, and your hope to go back year after year. Reflecting on the time spent cheering you on as soccer goalie, trying desperately to keep warm under my mom blanket, admiring the way you encouraged your teammates. Reflecting on your junior prom, feeling honored that you asked me to make dinner for you and your date, then feeling teary eyed about the man standing before me in a tux. Reflecting on your talent and passion as a musician, bursting with joy at each and every band concert, listening to you play the alto, tenor, and baritone saxophones. Reflecting on my feelings of anticipation, touring college campuses, wondering what your future might hold. Reflecting on my excitement and nervousness upon finding college envelopes in our mailbox, hearing you read the acceptance letters from both colleges of your choice. Reflecting on so many proud mom moments as you grew from boy to man, preparing for this all along, slowly letting you go…
Senior year. It won’t be long now. Just one more semester. Just a senior exit interview. Just a senior portfolio. You are in the home stretch.
But wait…
Senior year interrupted? Senior year wrapping up virtually? What about those senior highlights? Those moments every senior dreams about? Those moments every senior looks forward to celebrating their entire school career? The goofy senior video. The senior parade in caps and gowns through the district schools. The high fives from all the littles looking up at their idols, imagining when it’s their turn, when they’re the big kids parading through the schools. And what about graduation? Graduation in July? Graduation at a social distance? Graduation without loved ones? Graduation without a celebration?
Senior year. This isn’t the ending we imagined. This isn’t the ending we thought it would be. This isn’t the ending we planned. This isn’t the ending we expected. This isn’t the ending of our choice. Yet this is our ending.
Senior year. It will end, and that ending will be a celebration.A celebration marked by Pomp and Circumstance, perhaps audible only to us. A celebration of you, our 2020 Graduate. A celebration of the brave, spirited, challenging, empathetic, kind, tenderhearted you. A celebration of all that you’ve accomplished on your K-12 journey. A celebration of all you’ve overcome. A celebration to send you off into your next chapter. A celebration of new beginnings.
So here’s to those new beginnings. Here’s to a new school. Here’s to a new level of learning. Here’s to new classes. Here’s to new responsibilities. Here’s to new friends. Here’s to a new living arrangement. Here’s to new routines. Here’s to new adventures. Here’s to new challenges. Here’s to new experiences. Here’s to new expectations. Here’s to new opportunities. And most of all, here’s to the ‘new’ you, the amazing young man you are becoming, and the new ways of thinking and doing you will bring to this world.
Congratulations to you, my son, the 2020 Graduate! I love you!
