Top 15 Most Ridiculous Startup Phrases

Every industry has its impressive panoply of words that somehow become basic nomenclature. Startupland has its doozies, and here are the ones at the top of my list:

1. “Silicon [Whatever]” — must every global ecosystem have a nickname that cleverly refers to the Valley?
2. “SoLoMo” — sounds like some kind of frozen treat for kids
3. “Phablet” — there’s got to be a better word for this device
4. “Mentor” — well aren’t you special
5. “With Zero Marketing” — aka we’re not sure what to do about distribution yet
6. “Big Data” — as opposed to small data…
7. “Pivot” — I do this when I’ve picked up my dribble, not when dribbling in a completely different direction (and that never usually works out well either)
8. “Ninja” — Even true ninjas probably don’t describe themselves as “ninjas”
9. “Assassin” — see #8, and if true, you’ll need to raise bail before you raise your Series A
10. “Ramen Profitable” — still not sure what satisfaction one gets from realizing that profit on paper is quite different than profit when scaling
11. “No Competition” — then nobody cares
12. “MVP” — they don’t give trophies for your minimum viable product
13. “Collaborative Consumption” — the “Sharing Economy” rolls off the tongue far easier
14. “Incubator” — make sure the lamp is warm and the air is circulated
15. “Backend Developer” — no comment

I’m sure you can add plenty to the lexicon. No offense friends if these words have come out of your mouth — at some point I’ve used all of them (well, never “ninja” or “assassin”).

Join me in making the world a better place.

**Originally published 9/2/2013