Everything Is A Mirror

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” — Anaïs Nin

I remember the first time I picked up a pair of drum sticks. It was twenty years ago, in the midst of a season that found me painfully shy, timid, and self-conscious. However, I never once questioned if I wanted to play the drums. I had absolutely no doubt that I wanted to learn how to hit random percussive shit in a rhythmic fashion.

This inclination towards such a loud, visually expressive, and rambunctious activity was no coincidence. Given my quiet nature, it was a conduit from which I could finally be heard. It gave me an opportunity for expression. It gave me a voice to command the room. But fundamentally, pursuing drums allowed me to view myself from a different angle. It allowed me to perceive myself in a way that contradicted my temperament. And it allowed me to experience a previously unexperienced set of emotions.

As human beings, we are slaves to our emotions. The more pleasing an emotion, the more we pursue the provider of said emotion. This determines our inclinations towards certain pursuits, be it people, professions, cities, environments, or activities. The reason that we have inclinations towards certain pursuits is not because of the pursuits themselves, but rather the way that these pursuits make us view and feel about ourselves. For example, we pursue professions not because of the job, but because of our desire to view ourselves as accomplished and successful. We pursue relationships not because of the person, but because of our desire to view ourselves as connected, compatible, and esteemed.

Similarly, my current pursuit of travel is not about seeing or experiencing the world. It’s about finding that new lens, that new mirror, with which to view myself. And if I like how I look, I’m not quite sure I’ll stop.