Reclaiming my time.
I’ve been in a funk lately, where I’m downing myself before I even assess my thoughts and feelings. I’m telling myself that I haven’t been doing enough, and that’s a fucking lie. I believe in myself wholeheartedly, and work my ass off. I believe in every single one of my abilities. But, what’s getting in my way is my feeling overwhelmed. Why the fuck am I making a mountain out of every piece-of-shit mole hill I come across?
Well, I’m an empath for starters. I’ve been growing used to the sways in my own energy after interacting with people; friends and strangers alike. However, lately it’s been out of control; my energy levels feel so low. I’m drained after engagement, and at times try to avoid it altogether.
As I thought to myself late one night, I had an epiphany. There are some people I am completely in love with, but I’m confused on whether they love me or not. I had been drained because I was sharing my energy carelessly. See, I’ve always carried more than half the responsibility in sustaining my relationships. Oh, how I’ve learned the err of my ways over. NOT ANYMORE.
If this is you, friend or family member, who barely reaches out to me and only does so to ask for advice or my professional opinion for free, then please leave me be. Unless you truly want to be involved in this relationship and put some change into action. The emotional baggage is way too much for me to bear. The ill energy you’ve imparted into my life is weighing me down. You’re affecting me negatively.
The saddest part is you’re not even aware. For that, I take responsibility because I haven’t been able to tell you or articulate it. I mean, not until recently did I even know what the problem was. But now, I’m fully aware of what’s happening in my mind and in our relationship. The dynamic and pitfalls of my emotional rollercoaster, I understand.
So, please, I beg of you. If you don’t care to be friends, skidaddle. If you don’t see yourself reaching out to me to see how I’m doing, bounce. If you don’t reciprocate the energy and effort to strengthen a relationship with me, please let me go. Delete me. Unfollow me. Let me be.
Let’s release one another. We’ve come to the end of our season. I bid you adieu. #ReclaimingMyTime
