Month Four of Remote Year: Bulgaria
A rollercoaster month of travel, life events and lessons.
I officially hit 100 days of travel on September 8th. That means it’s been 100 days since I started living out of a suitcase, 100 days since I’ve been anywhere for longer than a month, and 100 days since I took one of the biggest leaps of my life.
This month brought my group to Sofia, Bulgaria. It was a welcome change from what life was like in Morocco, and one I think our group generally embraced with strong enthusiasm. We were excited for bars, for cobble stone streets, for a wide variety of food, for being able to wear whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, and for hiking. Just outside of Sofia is the Vitosha Mountain, which can be seen from most parts of the city and from right outside my apartment door. September’s accommodations meant I got my own place—a beautiful studio apartment with a patio. I’m located across the street from a large park, around the corner from the main part of the city, and a lovely 20 minute walk from our co-working space that has 2 dogs. In the first week I fell in love with Sofia. In the second week I explored as much of it as I could. In the third week I left to come back to NYC for 2 weeks and for the first time in almost 4 months.
I was so excited to come back to NYC. I was excited to see friends that I’ve missed deeply, excited to eat food I had been craving for a while, excited to have casual nights in my apartment, and most of all, excited to be up there with my best friend at his wedding.
In the beginning of September, my thoughts mainly focused around things that I missed. So I made a list: rain, NYC pizza, toasted bagels with cream cheese, drinking tap water, Mexican food, BBQ, Thai food, Indian food, shelves inside of showers for your things, my cat, physical face time with friends, screens on windows and doors to keep the bugs out, a full-time job, bar tabs, ubiquitous acceptance of credit cards, personal space, less salty food, and the classic NYC brash personality. The little things that wouldn’t normally phase a person when taken away become amplified once they’ve been gone for months on end.
But as the month went on and I had so many conversations with new friends, old friends and strangers, the sentiment of the month shifted for me. And instead, I focused so much more on my relationships with people and what that meant in my life.
Family is what, and who, you want it to be.
For me, family is a very strong word that I don’t use lightly. The same applies to the word love. When I say I love someone, or think of them as my family, it’s a conscious decision I’ve made and one that I know stems from extended periods of ups and downs together. Although I don’t broadcast this, I’ve had to custom-build my own family over the years. They are the individuals nearest and dearest to me, who have been there for the good and the bad, and who I would trust everything with while also doing anything for. Ultimately, family is what we make it and a concept that evolves over time. I’ve come to accept that and have built a network of people that I love and appreciate more than anything. I don’t tell them often enough, but for those of you that I consider my family: I love you, I miss you, and I can’t wait to see you again.
“You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn’t depend on blood. Nor is it exclusive of friendship. Family members can be your best friends, you know. And best friends, whether or not they are related to you, can be your family.”— Trenton Lee Stewart
The sadness in your past is what made you who you are today. It got you here. Own it.
Before Remote Year, I was pretty comfortable with my story. It certainly took a long time to get to that point, and to put it blatantly, a whole lotta therapy. But I eventually got there, accepted who I was, where I came from, and didn’t make any significant attempts to hide it from anyone. But since June, Remote Year has propelled me into the mindset of being much more forthcoming with it when appropriate. Again, it’s not something I’ll broadcast, but when asked I’ll be honest. I find that accepting my own story makes me much more accepting of the stories of others. It multiplies empathy by 1000, allows for patience and understanding, and ultimately makes my friendships stronger. I can’t change anything that’s happened in the past, and I actually wouldn’t if I could. It makes me me, and allows me to appreciate every day when I remind myself of how far I’ve come.
“There are moments, when you’re getting to know someone, when you realize something deep and buried in you is deep and buried in them, too. It feels like meeting a stranger you’ve known your whole life.” — Leah Raeder
Try being a different version of yourself for a little while. See what it does.
For the month of August I tried being a fairly different version of myself. I embraced a much slower pace, worked on letting things go that didn’t merit the stress, and made a conscious effort to immerse myself into new friendships. In short, I went with the flow. What resulted were excellent evenings of card games, movie nights, American take-out marathons, late morning wake up times, conversations, extended weekend trips and hookah. I tried out what it’d be like to live at a non-NYC pace and not worry all the time. I’ve lived and worked at that speed for so long that I forgot, or never really knew, what it was like to work in other ways. I also think my slower pace mellowed me out, put things in perspective a bit more, and allowed me to shrug off what ultimately doesn’t really matter all that much. My work ethic is still there, as I’m sure it’ll never leave for those projects I’m passionate about, but for now I’m enjoying a more thoughtful life with a whole world of freedom.
“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is the last time I’ll be back in the US for about 9 months. From today until summer 2017 I’ll be galavanting around the world and continent hopping as if that’s a normal thing. I am also well-aware of how fortunate and privileged I am to be able to do this, and know that opportunities like this don’t come along often.
Here’s to another 270 days on the road and to free will.🍾
