12 For 12: Hard Truths I Learned During Remote Year
Remotely Interesting: 12 For 12 is a series of a dozen articles covering everything I learned during my time in Remote Year. Some entries (like this one) aren’t super funny, but they’re aggressively honest.
I’m fully aware that any article claiming to highlight the “downsides” of being privileged and lucky enough to travel the world for a year deserves to be accompanied by a tiny violin.
So for the record: I’m not complaining, and I won’t even try to argue that this year has been anything less than amazing. I will, however, bust out the real talk.
Past the buzzwords (I have no idea what a “digital nomad” is, but apparently I am one now?) and the glowing sentiments about being a global traveller, there are some hard and uncomfortable truths that you can learn on Remote Year if you’re paying attention. Here are a dozen that smacked me in the face.
1. Your World Moves On Without You
Of course, time moves on. Everyone and everything you left behind will be a year older. There are probably some milestones you missed, and stories that need to be retold. But life isn’t just a series of milestones, and those everyday, not-so-milestones start to pile up.
That Place You Liked To Eat At went out of business. Your friends have made new friends, and now you’re out of the loop. Your job laid people off, and you’ll be heading back to an office full of new hires. Everyone will be singing a song you’ve never heard of before.
It all starts to pile up, and can honestly feel pretty damn overwhelming. Especially when you start to realize that…
2. The World Doesn’t NEED You
Let me be clear: You are loved, and wanted, and have a life you carved out for yourself somewhere. But your place of residence didn’t implode once you left — it’s fine in your absence, as are the people in your life. They miss you, but they’re fine.
And the same goes for every city you visited throughout the year: You made new friends and had new experiences, but a month is usually too short a time for anyone to leave an indelible mark on someone else’s life.
Every country you’ll go to will be no richer for your temporary residence, nor will it be poorer in your absence. You’re appreciated, but not vital. And that’s fine. But it takes some getting used to.
But what if you still want to make a difference? Well…
3. You Will Probably Make Things Worse
Depending on your personality, it can be next to impossible for you to visit developing or disadvantaged countries without giving back in some way or form. You want to leave a positive impact no matter where you go.
And that’s where it gets tricky. Because of the limited time frame you’ll be staying in each country, we’re now talking about voluntourism. And studies are increasingly skeptical towards the concept as a whole for a variety of reasons.
Do you want to volunteer your professional skills or physical labour abilities? You may be taking a paid or training position away from a local.
How about visiting a local orphanage? Kids need stability and the promise of an actual future with a caretaker, not another play date with a foreigner.
What about a pet shelter? Pets need the exact same thing.
It feels good to put your feet on the ground and help someone in person, but this is about something much more complex than that. And the odds are stacked against you volunteering in a way that has zero negative impact on a local or macro level.
But let’s take a step back and talk about travelling with your Remote Year group as a whole.
4. Travel Is Not A Grand Unifying Trait
You liked the idea of travel enough to sign up for Remote Year, and so did everyone else in your new group of globetrotters. That means you’re all insta-besties, right?
If only it were that simple. But no: Sharing one interest doesn’t mean you’ll love, or even like, each other. Just like you didn’t forge lifelong friendships with everyone who shared your major in college or played the same sports you did in high school.
Being on Remote Year together gives you hundreds of opportunities to discover and cement lasting friendships, but they’re by no means a guarantee.
I love the colour orange and yelling in public, yet President Trump has yet to follow me on Twitter. A couple things in common aren’t always enough.
And speaking of high school…
5. You Will Regress Socially
I’m not saying that you’ll become a hermit or forget how to talk to strangers (but who knows, right?), but you will be made acutely aware of how long it’s been since you had to introduce yourself to so many strangers.
It will feel like high school, it will feel like college, it will feel like the first day of camp writ large.
And just like those times, old instincts will kick in. I found myself partying and drinking more than I had in a decade, because suddenly it was my freshman year again and I wanted my new friends to get how fun I was.
Cliques will form, friendships will shift, and you’ll eventually retain the social balance you had before the year started, and you’ll be better for it.
Or, at least, you’ll try to keep things balanced. Because…
6. Every Decision Is A Tradeoff
This has always been true, but damn does it ever become a daily struggle on Remote Year.
Back home, I would regularly spend a weekend or two (four) each month catching up on Netflix or gaming, and I thought nothing of it. It was Me Time, it was my requisite social recharging.
Let’s say I want to take a weekend off on Remote Year. Am I willing to miss one of the many side trips to watch shows in bed? Wouldn’t I rather hang out with my remote friends? Isn’t it patently ridiculous to waste a single moment in any of these amazing countries?
Being surrounded by a group of genuinely interesting and talented people has a way of inspiring everyone through osmosis. Suddenly, no goal seems too far-fetched. So why not go for it all?
7. Burnout Happens
That’s why. At some point, in some way, you will have to ease off from embracing the world at 100% intensity. That’s natural, but it can still manage to feel like a personal failing, or a cop out.
It may not happen for a while, but a need to just chill the hell out and take stock of your experiences thus far will creep up on you. And learning to allow yourself to have a balanced life while abroad is a valuable skill if you care to cultivate it.
(Let’s be clear: I’m still pure garbage at it, but that’s a marked improvement.)
But because of those last two points…
8. You Will Not Accomplish Everything You Planned
Despite your abundance of inspiration and worldly energy, there are only so many hours in a day and days in a year. Several things will give. Your job will take precedence, cutting down on social time. Or you won’t have enough work coming in, limiting your travel budget for side trips.
I wanted to have several screenplays, a podcast, and an eBook completed by the end of my time in Remote Year. Those were probably ridiculously unrealistic goals to begin with, but I felt helpless as I watched them slip into unattainability all the same.
And all of your side projects have to exist around the main event: Your full-time job.
9. Remote Work Is Still Work
Whether you’re pulling in freelance jobs or are working your full-time gig remotely, you’re going to spend the majority of your year behind your laptop, earning your keep. So feel free to clap back at anyone who says you’re “on vacation for a year.”
When you switch time zones, there’s no telling what schedule your employer will have you keep.
You will miss social events and small local moments because of your job.
You will fall behind on office hires and departures. You will search for privacy and a strong wi-fi signal to have video conferences.
It’s a work-life balancing act of the highest order, and I still stumble on an almost daily basis. But I fought to make it work, because…
10. It Ain’t Cheap
Granted, everyone comes into RY from very different circumstances. I was living in my Mom’s basement, and I’m Canadian, so the monthly fee (paid out in USD, of course) decimated my chequing account in a very real and intense way.
But I budgeted for the base cost of remote year, and was in good shape. Until I was brought onboard for unexpected side trips. And my phone needed to be sent back home for costly repairs. And my tax rates went up.
Life happens, and it’s rarely affordable. Budget for the unexpected, because it will happen. Murphy’s Law is in full effect on Remote Year.
11. “Travel” Does Not Mean The Same Thing For Everyone
No matter how you define yourself while travelling, there will be someone within your group who does things the opposite way.
Do you hit the clubs on a nightly basis? One of your friends is probably in bed by 10 and jogging at dawn.
Are you always on a backpacker budget? Someone in your group prefers to stay at luxury resorts and upgrade their flights to business class whenever possible.
But it’s not just travel habits, it’s also travel ethics. If you don’t believe in giving cash to panhandlers, someone else is handing out their small bills.
If you love to snap candid photos of local children, a friend is silently wondering why you choose to put photos of strangers’ children online.
While you’re preparing to volunteer for a charity, your friend is attending a business networking conference.
There is no consensus on how to do Remote Year, and that can result in conflict, understanding, or nothing at all. And you’d best make peace with all of this quickly, because…
12. It’s Over Before You Know It
A year feels like a long time. Long enough to fit everything inside of it. But you’ve never had this many things to cram inside 12 months before. Suddenly you’re in the final weeks and every single adventure you planned on having is now a story you share with the group.
It’s fleeting as hell, and the looming end of Remote Year swallows up the last month or two of the group’s psyche as a whole. You want to prepare, but you can’t. So just be aware.
And enjoy it! Best days of your life, for real. ❤
