Su the Toot
Originally published in Goat Taiwan June 2015 “The Sex Issue”
There’s a lot to be said about sex in Taiwan, but when I think about this month’s sex issue, I can only think of one woman who has impacted myself and my views on sex and the sex industry more than anyone else, and she happens to be Korean. She invokes sex so much that I used the word three times in the last sentence.
Now that you’re done counting that first sentence, let’s move on with it. The strange thing about this woman is that we’ve never had sex, never even thought about it. Well, she did when we first met, but she wasn’t into me for any sort of emotional support or a long-lasting relationship, she was into me for money. We first encountered when I was taking a long, drunken stroll through the expat neighborhood of Itaewon in Seoul, South Korea. I was walking down a main drag when a pack of dogs, all attached to the same leash, came running by. Assuming that they had gotten away from someone’s hand, I grabbed the leash. I don’t know why, even, because I hate dogs.
What happened to the rest of that night changed the way I think about things. Not on any grand, life altering level, but it is how I met my friend Su, the prostitute.
The dogs began leading me. Being drunk and having my curiosity peaked, I followed. We took twists and turns and went to a strange dark alley, not far from the hooker hill, a brothel-heavy area as the name suggests. After a few steps we came to a storefront. AstroTurf porch, a large window with a neon sign, curtains closed and a front door that the dogs began to scratch at.
A woman with a tight top, long nails, loads of make-up and a very short skirt answered the door. “Oh fuck,” I thought. But that was only for a second, then I went in. After all, I was only returning someone’s dogs.
I instantly sat down at the bar. “You want a beer?” she said in a voice of English perfection and confidence only found in the workers who deal predominantly with the foreign community. “Uh, no.” I replied. But I did. I did want a beer. After that she came around the bar, rubbed my shoulders for a second, and stuck her hand down my pants. I knew I didn’t want that.
“Yeah, I’ll have a beer.”
“Okay, you buy a beer for 5,000 Won (about 150 NTD, 5 USD) and you buy me a beer for 2,000 Won (about 60 NTD).”
That was steep, compared to the 1,500 Won beers I could get from the next bar, but why not? She seemed friendly enough. After that beer she began asking me if I was into sucking, fucking, feeling, licking and just about anything else. “Let’s have another beer,” I said. She seemed confused.
Same price, same proposition, same decline. Now beers were costing me 2,000 won and she was just pulling them from the fridge for herself. We got to talking. We talked about beer, we talked about Korea, we talked about bullshit politicians. We talked until the sun came up and it was a lot of fun, so I started returning. The first two times I returned, she made sure I didn’t want a hand job or anything, nice lady and all, but after that she knew I was just there to hang out. I started bringing friends around and we would all chat, get drunk and shoot the shit about whatever. Occasionally she’d have a client come in and I would let her know that I was going to take off, sometimes returning a few hours later after a pub crawl, and sometimes just seeing her once in a while. I don’t want to interrupt anyone’s job, and while I had never had qualms with prostitution, it was after these meetings that I truly realized she was just at work, like any other job. One night we left in a hurry and a friend left his laptop in her bar, she left a note on the door with her cell number, “I have your computer, call me to come get it.”
The greatest thing about Su is that she loved what she did. Sometimes it was rough, but mostly it was just routine. She must have been in her forties the last time I saw her. I don’t know, between the makeup and aging, well, that was my guess. I never asked. But as our friendship developed she started telling me some stories about her job, about the men who came in just to be held and cry, and how many clients were getting laid on a regular basis but came to her because they got off on the joy of paying for sex. Sometimes the stories got deeper. Su had a no choking rule. One night an older Korean man came in requesting that she fulfilled his choking fetish. She noted the rule and the man decided to pay for sex anyway. During the act he got a little over excited and put his hands around her throat. “So what did you do?” I asked her.
“I got away from him, grabbed the fire extinguisher, hit him over the head with it, dragged him to the middle of the street and called an ambulance” she said, laughing.
Su was not fucking around with her rules, in fact, she had a sense of discipline that even I, as a friend, felt. She told several more about old men, military guys from the States and average schmos who just didn’t have the money to pay her. They all got the wrath of Su. Wherever she is now, she’s a no-nonsense lady.
Then one night a strange thing happened. I walked into Su’s bar, at the head of the brothel, and there was a woman sitting at the table. They were touching each other’s hands and giggling. “This is my girlfriend,” she said.
After a year or so of knowing her, I had no clue that Su was into women. I didn’t know anything about her personal life. That night we chatted about what it was like to be a lesbian prostitute, how she thought it was great that she got no stimulation from the men. She could have a complete separation, in her eyes, of her professional and personal life. This was the only time I got to sit down with this amazing, charming, intelligent couple and it was a great evening. No clients came in, we just hung out. Su was her own boss, after all.
For the rest of my time in Korea I’d see Su and her girlfriend out and about, usually separately, and say hi then let them be on their way. What was even more remarkable was that Su would spot me across the street and run across to catch up. There was even a time when I was sitting outside of a Taco Bell during daylight hours, with a friend and his family who had come to visit. Su marched up in a blue tube top and glittery skirt, dogs in tow, to say hi. She introduced herself to everyone and stuck around for a minute. I had to explain who she was to my friends afterwards, but there was no embarrassment involved.
Then there was the last time I saw Su. A friend and I went to visit her one night after some tequila shots. She was clearly drunk as well, and extra huggy. It was a hazy end to our friendship, not that it would be over if we met again. I just don’t know where she is now.
As we were leaving, at sunrise, I got a picture while giving her a hug. “Your hugs are so warm, like a mom,” she said.
We said our goodbyes and for some reason I never got back around there. I heard that after I left Korea some friends got in a fight with Army Rangers at her bar. Sorry to hear that for them and for her. When I returned to Korea I walked by to see if I could find her and introduce my wife, but the office was closed. It’s now a pork restaurant.
So to Su, my friend, the prostitute, I hope you and your girlfriend are enjoying retirement somewhere out there, and engaging in weird nights the way only you know how.
