Discovering my own limitations and finding out how easily I get nervous when the challenges required me to be silly instead of serious.
In general, I’d say that I’m pretty comfortable in social situations and when talking with others. I don’t mind cold-calling people or presenting in front of others. However this weekend I joined a Steps challenge; “Silly Weekend Challenges,” to understand when others judgement actually affect me.
And to my own big surprise, I found out how easily I get nervous when the challenges required me to be silly instead of serious.
Friday I had the option to choose challenges like:
- Wear different coloured socks when going shopping
- Ask for a Mellon in a bakery
- Start a conversation with a stranger in a public bathroom stall
At first, I didn’t think it was that scary to do these small silly things. Sitting Friday evening and picking the challenges I was certain that the other strangers in the situations would find the situations funny and performing them wouldn’t be an issue, because, really, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
We expect other people to act in a certain way — When going to the bakery we expect customers to want bread and cakes, people to wear same colour socks and there are certain rules for when you can approach strangers.
But Saturday noon, when I was about to leave my apartment to do a challenge. I realised that, even though I rationally knew that it will not hurt me or others, the challenge required me to step outside of comfort zone and I realised how scary it felt for me. Then the thoughts began:
- How important is it actually to do that silly thing?
- I know I can do it, I just don’t want to right now…
- My other plans changed in the weekend, so now I can’t!
I felt all these excuses though they didn’t seem like excuses, as I felt the nervousness even though I knew there was nothing to be nervous about. People always overestimate themselves, because when sitting in a safe place and talking about a challenge, we see it from the perspective of an audience, not as the actor — and even though I’m aware of that, I did exactly that mistake myself.
I decided to do a silly challenge, just an easier one then first imagined. I went out to ask strangers to take a selfie with me.
After asking and getting a yes from a friendly looking women who looked similar to myself, I immediately felt more confident, and asked another stranger who said… NO!
But funnily enough, the rejection made the next attempt much easier. I experienced the worst thing that could happen.. and it didn’t feel too bad.
Now I feel more ready to up my silly-challenge-game for the future, and discover new things about myself. Things that can only be discovered by actually going out and testing the boundaries. Testing the conformity boundary was truly liberating and makes me see and question the “normal” things we do, which in the first place might actually be even more silly.
