Keep it simple. Don’t make me think.

As Clare Boothe Luce wrote, “the height of sophistication is simplicity.”

Your products and services may be intricate and complex, but when reaching out to prospects to begin a conversation, your communications should focus on one singular idea.

For example, if you’re marketing financial products and services, you probably offer a wide range of options with an extensive set of features and benefits. But when you toss way too many concepts and ideas into a message, you blur all meaning and relevance.

Case in point: I received a letter from a major financial institution about mortgage financing. Here is the top part of the letter (blurring out the name of the company):

Yes, the copy seems brief enough, but brevity is not the same as simplicity. There’s no singular cohesive idea here that inspires me to think, “hmm … I want to know more…” I also see too many awkward and meaningless terms:

• What does “by historical standards” really mean? Does anyone really relate to that phrase?
• Why do I need a “dedicated mortgage team”? (although I’ll concede that if I do, I’d surely prefer a dedicated team over an indifferent one…)
• Is “ongoing assistance” over the “life of my loan” relevant? Even bringing up the very idea that I might need such assistance doesn’t seem compelling.

The central message should be a lot more concise — perhaps along these lines:

• While mortgage rates may seem low now, they’re starting to climb.
• Rising rates makes it a good time to think about financing options.
• I’d be happy to review your needs and suggest some ideas.
• If it makes sense, I’ll guide you through the entire process — from application to closing.

And even more complexity…

The bottom part of the letter contains a complex table of rates that muddle the message even more:

There are dozens and dozens of numbers and percentage signs here. As for the jargon, sure some people understand terms such as ARM, HELOC, LIBOR, first lien, and second lien, but let’s face it, most don’t.

Instead of a complex table of rates, this might have been a good place for a simple chart showing how low mortgage rates are today compared to several years ago.

So I see a lot of missed opportunities here — and some lessons:

Simplify your message. Avoid complexity and jargon. Don’t make me think too hard.

Keeping things simple isn’t always so simple, but in most cases less is more (more or less).