Pickles don’t suck, you’re just an asshole.

(Credit: Internet)

(except you dad, you’re cool).

I get why people don’t like pickles. The very concept of them sounds ridiculous: take an already odd, phallic vegetable and soak it in water and salt and vinegar for days on end until it looks like a slimier, more shriveled version of itself and tastes like a

It’s not hard to understand. They’re weird. I get it. A lot of foods are weird, and yet they don’t inspire hatred like pickles seem to.

Lots of haters out there.

But picking on pickles is like bullying the math genius on the playground: he might be strange to you, but in the right situations he’s exactly what you need. He’s at least the sort of thing someone needs. And you should probably respect that.

Pickles are their own sort of magic. Ever put salt on a cucumber? Amazing, right? Pickles are that times a thousand. Cucumbers on a burger don’t add much, but pickles make it photograph-worthy.

Whether or not you like their taste, you can’t deny their power. They can transform a bland food into something brimming with flavor (whether or not you like that flavor is your choice). Few foods posses that sort of taste-altering ability in such a small package. Especially with so little downside.

When it boils down to it, hating on the humble pickle shows a lack of respect for a food with large abilities. Perhaps even a lack of respect for the transformative nature of food itself.

Pickles are unique. Name a food that tastes like a pickle. You probably can’t. We’ve spent our whole lives hoping to be special, let’s not hate on a food that’s actually living the dream. If you don’t like them just leave them alone.

Also, dad, you should give pickles a second chance.

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